& i can't fall asleep in it.
someone asked me what i would say.
if he called me.
i dont think i could say anything.
that i fucking hate him
for ruining my life more than he can imagine.
that everything changed,
in a matter of seconds.
and now i want my innocence back.
from every guy i have ever
touched.
kissed.
fucked.
i want it back.
because now i am ruined.
now no one will ever fucking want me.
& i had no idea it was coming.
i hate myself so much today it is honestly unreal.
& as much as i should.
as much as i wish i could.
blame him.
i can't.
my insides are reaching a boiling point.
i haven't felt like this,
ever.
everyone's fucking trivial problems.
i wish i could pass this on.
fucking let someone else deal with this.
so they know.
i would give anything,
to trade lives.
but i could never do that to anyone.
FML.
seriously.
i have to stop crying sometime. |