but goodbye is the one word we know.
life.
I go back & forth about how I feel.
its too short, its too hard,
but then. I want to be in it.
I broke up with mike.
as much as I hated to hurt him,
I needed to be honest.
& I can't blame myself for knowing I deserve more.
I apologized & he said "no big deal"
it just sort of cemented my belief he is not the one for me.
back to being single,
and I intend to do the best I can.
trying to apply to school,
trying to be a better person.
that friend, is now sort of acting like nothing happened.
I sent her the most honest email I have ever written,
and she just chose not to comment on any of it.
I'm not going back to the way things were.
I deserve an apology.
I'm tired of letting people push me around.
tired of keeping my feelings bottled up.
I'm on a new path of honesty.
I need to do what's best for me,
not for other people.
(i know it sounds horrible. But in the end, I only have myself).
getting a cat soon 
her name is samantha.
an elderly patient at the office has to be placed,
and can't take her.
she's all black, about two.
a little chubby, but I can fix that. Diet time!
she wanted me to take her today,
but she was so upset,
crying the whole time.
I told her to keep her until she has to move.
I feel awful for taking an old lady's only companion,
but it will be in a good home.
i'll take good care of her.
but I almost started tearing up.
for sure i'll cry when I have to take her away.
not sure what else,
I'm just trying to keep on keeping on.
& I suppose that's all we can do.
tegan & sara, wintersleep & city & colour tomorrow.
really not a fan of dallas green,
but I love tegan&sara and wintersleep.
hopefully I can just cut loose.
love yous.
xoxoxoxo |
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Keep your head up girlie! 