Evening fellow bloopers,
Hope you all had a good weekend. You know what i love most about my onlie diary, its the days where i have such good news. Something to be happy about, not a negtative entry (well this entrys storys about a negative sotry that leads to happniess so just ignore that). It feels so good to write something about my life that makes me happy. Some might call it boasting. But me, i call it so happy if i dont write it down or tell someone i'll burst.
Last week wasnt my best week. My scotland trip that i was supposed to be taking place in two weeks got cancelled. My auntie who i was driving up with forgot about a greenday concert she was taking her son too, and he is a hardcore greensday fan, only 11 bless him. So of course they have to go. To be honest, i was gutted. I lived in scotland for 17 years, where i created bonds with people througout primary school, high school and then i moves to Austrlia, now im back in the uk, i live with my mum in england as she moved here to be closer to her family. So that was that no scotland.
On the other deppresing fact i have no Job. Goverment benefits only carry me so far, let me enjoy a good night out every two weeks and i'm able to go to the cinema with my boyfriend once a week. He has been so great to me. When he found out scotland trip was a no-go he called me up straight away and offered to pay for a flight a train or a bus. I couldnt accept the offer. I started to feel guilty, Scott pays alot in our realtionship and i dont want to turn into a girl who takes advantage for her boyfriends spending on her. Its nice to recieve gifts, but not to have to pay for anything.
I started thinking, that he would be better off without me. He deseverd better. So i decided to break up with him on thursday. We text that day and he said i know your going to break up with me tonight i can feel it. So i went over, after crying all day, no make up, actually i was still crying. And when i saw him looking so upset, i sware i could see tears in his eyes. I woke myself up, i told myself I love this man with all my heart, why would i throw myself away from the only thing that makes my life worth living. I was going to be selfish for the only right reason i have ever been selfish in all my life. I told him just what i told you. He told me i was being silly, That i do desevre him and he couldne be happier.
Why do i get myself in such a state. But you know what? Im glad i did. It made me realise what i really want in life, and scott comes to of that list. Nothings written in stone yet, but he mentioned getting engaged, marrige and kids. But he stressed the fact that he wants to travel. Hearing the news that he has this coming weekend off i couldn't help but to offer the idea of going away for the weekend. We deciced to go to amsterdam yesterday afternoon, 3 hours later the flights and hotel was paid for. We start our travelling now. Live our lives. Because according to him, were going to have a scott junior running around in a few years.
To everyone
Dont live for the moment, Live in the moment
Katie xxxx |
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