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♥ Mrs. Banks ♥
by Duckie

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next entry: For Dev...:D Massive news.

"Only kisses on the cheek from now on..."

06/27/2009








Listening to Fiona Apple alone= emo Mary

So I'm sitting at home alone listening to Fiona Apple. Not such a good idea. I have been really down lately. Me and Chris has this huge discussion (it wasn't really a fight) about marriage. I knew he said he wasn't ready when we were together for about 2 years, which at the time neither was I. We will have been together for 5 years in October. I'm ready to marry him. I know he's the one I want. Well, apparantly he wants to wait 2-3 more years. I just can't do it. I can't. Why wait? That's my thing. Then he says whats the big deal. The big deal is I love him and want to start living my life as his wife. I don't want to be "shacked up" with him. I was a legally legit marriage. Is that too much to ask? I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid to leave him. I'm afraid that I'll stay and after 2-3 years he still won't be "ready". I don't like feeling like I'm forcing him into something. I don't like feeling like I'm the needy, clingy, obsessive girlfriend. After 5 years, we need to get married. That's just how I feel. I may be wrong here but jeez. All my friends are getting married after being together way less and it makes me feel bad when people come up and say sooooo when are you guys getting married? I'm like apparently never. I know I'm young, but I have been with him since I was 16. He has been my first everything. I want him to be my husband. Is that such a bad thing? I'm rambing but I just don't have anyone to talk to about this. I don't wanna tell my friends because they will get mad at him and I can't talk to my mom or family because they think the same thing I do. I guess I just needed an outside opinion. Am I asking too much?

eye candy

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i don't think you're asking too much. 5 years is a long time if it's not heading in a common commitment direction. best of luck with it.

ryc: thank you so much, i just cut it yesterday and i'm still figuring out how best to style it.

[girlsetsfireStar|0 likes] [|reply]

i don't think you're wrong in your feelings at all. i don't think that i could be with someone for 5 years and not even be engaged yet. but then again, i'm the type of person who always knew that i didn't want to seriously date anyone i couldn't see myself marrying. once i realized i didn't want to marry them one day (which typically took 3-4 months), i would break up with them. Sean was the only one who made it past 5.5 months. my previous longest relationship was my high school 1st love who broke my heart. no one else made it far. so no, i don't think you're wrong at all. men just have different time clocks.

i hope you can figure out something together because obviously 5 years with someone is a big deal. but you have to weigh what you want with what you get.

good luck

[Home Again|0 likes] [|reply]

Tough call. On one hand, my brother in law and his girlfriend were together for 17 years before they got married, and on the other, I don't think I could deal with that. It's really your call. Good luck.

dev

[delta2|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: An ass whooping just might be a good idea... we have an appt for counseling on the 16th, I just hope that I can make it until then. I honestly don't know. He just keeps telling me that I'm "way overreacting" and that its "not like I'm having an affair with her." Don't know what to do. Come on up if you'd like, I'll even tell you where he works and goes to school!!

Love and hugs!

dev

[delta2|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: Thank you. About now I could use all the support I can get. Luckily, I have ample supplies of those people. But I can always use more. I hope to catch you at some point on line, but our schedules never match. I hope that all is well with you... HUGS!

dev

[delta2|0 likes] [|reply]

Well, good for you! I know it was driving you crazy... UPDATE YOUR ENTRIES!!! I miss seeing that you have posted, and I always love your posts! Good luck, you'll be fine.

dev

[delta2|0 likes] [|reply]

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