Soon enough I think I will have to pull the plug and eject from the friendship I have with Sara. I figured we'd be better off as friends, but the more I look at it all I'd just rather not even have that. I'd like to relegate her to be one of the ghosts of Chris's past. She's a cool chick, but I feel either pissed off or disgusted hanging out with her. Pissed off with her handling of everything and disgusted with myself for allowing everything to continue as long as it had. In my heart of hearts I was trying to do the right thing, trying to make things work. But then again I was doing it all for her, and not for me. The first time I brought up breaking up I was accused of running away from my problems, and that's not my modus operandi. So I suffered through it.
Now I just feel bad about it all. She really has no friends, and I'm doing a pretty good job of distancing myself, but can I sever the tie completely? I really want to, but she's already pretty lonely and gets bent out of shape if I can meet up with her to go do something. Then that just reminds me even when we're broken up, it's still all about her. And then I'm pissed again.
I'm just venting here, so you have my apologies. |
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RYC: thank you for the advice. that is some very true advice. things will get better with time. and I will try to smile some more! 