Snuggie

I hate to admit this but I think I'm actually suffering depression. Out of these 18 things I am experiencing 16 of them;

Sleep disturbance (insomnia), sleeping too much
Crying
“Empty” feeling
Loss of interest in usually enjoyable activities
Difficulty in thinking clearly
Feelings of guilt or worthlessness
Loss of concentration
Lowered self-esteem
Not as talkative as usual
Excessive fatigue
Prolonged sadness
Loss of appetite
Socially withdrawn
Persistent permission
Significant weight loss
Irritability
Persistent thoughts of death of suicide
Attempted suicide

I never believed in depression, I thought it was a fools thing. My dad has depression and I just did not want to turn out like him and his father, my grandad. Turn's out I am my father's daughter. I think I've been seeing it coming a long time but recent events have just pushed it on me quicker. I thing one thing to blame is him. Him. A boy. No, a man. How fucked up is that? That part of my depression is due to some deep rooted feelings for a guy that may start to love me as a friend or even a little sister, but never ever as anything more. Whereas I feel like I would stop the world for him. I am truly invisible to him. I want to be invisible to the world.