I haven't been writing anything on this for some time now. There can be quite a few, various, problems I can attribute this to, but as it is, it happened. I let life get a bit too much in the way and nearly became overwhelmed simply by doing something that is supposed to do exactly that.
But it meant that even though I was near crying several times during this month. The fact that I got myself yelled at my manager when I had to run out of his office because I was going to start crying right there in front of him if I remained, only he thought I was in a strop and so told me off. The entire problem is water under the bridge, or at least it will be as long as my parents don't start quietly muttering (always makes you feel worse, even though they have agreed that there is nothing else that can be done and so that they will just have to come back to Ireland for Christmas). It's a long story, and I didn't get the holiday days I was promised because the manager couldn't work it. I can't really blame him though. It's Head Offices fault for not getting back to him on time, and the fact that he's entirely stressed because Head Office won't give us enough hours over Christmas (we'll be over five people down from last Christmas), but it does mean extra Shifts for me (as the other girl will be going and that means there will be more hours up for grabs). And for everyone else.
And NaNo has not only made me incapable of any kind of speech, due to either my thoughts constantly being on the story I was trying to pull out of somewhere (anywhere on several points as I kept meeting dead ends) or else because I was so exhausted do to all the hours I was pulling in order to make sure that I made my word count, or more, every day. It's also meant that I haven't been pleasent to be around either (though part of that can be down to Christmas). I've yelled at my House mates on several occassions, I have had yet another fight with my dad (he was only over for four days) and I'm grumpy over the stupidest things. (I actually in various customers' hearings muttered that they are incapable of putting anything back after a woman left five books on a chair, when she was only two feet away from the children's section where she could return them. And that could have probably gotten me another 'warning' from my manager if anyone had complained. The problem is that I couldn't rightly care at that moment).
The bad mood in the shop is half and half between NaNo and half because of how close to Christmas it is. I just hate Christmas, mostly because of the shit you get from the customers, the sucky hours and the general bad mood everyone in retail get into because of the stupidness that exists around you. I become a regular Scrooge when I'm working (and I can be much happier when I'm helping someone and that doesn't involve anything to do with my work), and every year that passes with me in retail, I feel my body just become taunt like a string and worry that it will only take one wrong word, one wrong gesture or movement and I'm going to snap back at a customer and announce to them exactly how idiotic they are. Nearly did it last year too.
But that's something I just have to deal with, and the stress of NaNo is finally over. I finished yesterday by 50,000 story and have no plans to go back to it and add a few more paragraphs anywhere in order to pull up my word count before the 30th. To me and my Muses it's finished. There's nothing else I can do and so I've had it validated, downloaded the little certificate that says I'm a winner (I like how they do that. Makes me all tingly and happy) and am watching am one of my friends tries to get there as well.
I feel that I've finally completed something worthwhile, especially as the last story that I finished was when I was sixteen and it was more a novella than a story. I've got so many half-done stories, ones that have been re-written and re-written and are still not getting anywhere. I just can't switch my brain off and get on with it.
But I guess a lot of writers feel like that.
I've also got a few things to look forward to. The Christmas party for work is coming up (20 Euro for three course meal at Little Cesear's that we are doing on Saturday) and a Board Games Night tomorrow where all of us are going to gather at one of our colleage's house (his wife will be participating) and just play all the board games we've got and he does as well. So far we've been promised Monopoly, Jenga (mine), Cluedo (yeah), Scrabble and a few others so we'll have a fun night. Especially as we will probably be ordering in and there will be lots of drink. I think I'll be sticking with the coke, though I might have a glass of white wine.
Anymore than that and I get sleepy and there's no sense left in me.
Which is why I should probably be going to bed now, even if I am excited that we (my dad, sister's boyfriend and me) have finally fixed my little computer. It has been giving me problems over the last couple of weeks, such as the Internet suddenly shutting itself off. It started with just allowing me to log on for two hours and then cutting, but then it decided that I shouldn't be allowed to have any access at all. And what was frustrating was that I have wireless so there weren't cables I could blame or anything like that. Turns out I needed to get my Windows validated (I thought I already had when I put it on first) and then it took another two hours to get the Internet to work. It kept saying flick the switch on the front or back of the computer in order to 'ready' your computer for the wireless, except I don't have any switch. Eventually I figured out that if I pressed Function and then the little blue icon that looks like a phone tower, it would work.
I feel really stupid that it was as simple as that, especially after all the trouble it gave me, but oh well  hrugs shoulders:
But dad will be going home tomorrow. He has been over since Wednesday due to the fact that my Granma had a fall the week before when she was in Venice. Nothing serious (she's a tough old bird), but her sister created such a fuss and made my Granma become so flustered with her comments that she would now have to go into a nursing home and wouldn't be active anymore (she's 83 and part of the over 60's women swimming team marathons. Believe me, she's extremely athletic) that she phoned Ireland. She got through to my uncle down in Wexford (he lives near her) and then he in turn got in touch with mum and dad at two in the morning their time. Between the two of them they were calling Venice, or Granma and her sister were calling them and so to reassure her, dad came home. He went down to Wexford to see her (she's fine) and got in touch with an Assistant Programe for OAP so that Granma not only has their number but also knows who will care for her if she ever needs them, and then came back up.
Well, for all the days I've missed writing in this, I think I'm pretty much finished. I wish anyone who is in the States a Happy Thanksgiving (I know I'm a few days late) and that everyone else has an enjoyable time with the weeks coming up to Christmas. And when it is closer to Christmas, i.e. not less than four weeks away with Christmas music haven been blaring from the speakers of the shopping centre since second week of November and the decorations up around the same time, then I'll wish everyone a Merry Christmas, a wonderful Shortest Day of the Year, and a Happy Yule.
Goodnight.
Kya |
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