Old Faces, New Pain.
For some strange reason, I've been thinking about my dad's ex boyfriend a lot. He was like my second father (or mother. His name is Matt. Also my boyfriends name. Even the same initials. Anyway. He's been on my mind a lot and my dad of course hates his guts because of the break up. though that was four and a half years ago. They were together for 8 years. Maybe it was the holidays that brought him back into my mind. After my dad and him broke up, he would still pick me up from my mothers and take me out to dinner and spend time with me, even after he got a new boyfriend. his new boyfriend is great.. but the next thanksgiving i was supposed to leave my nana's house and my dad was going to drop me off at matt's moms where he was going to pick me up and i would spend some time with them. of course my dad was 30 minutes late getting me there and they left before i got there. i haven't talked to him since then... i got upset but tried to hide it bc i knew my dad would get all pissy. he sent him the rudest email possible. going off on him. but my dad wasn't really that mad about what he did to me as to just being heart broken. my dad was terrible to matt. hes bipolar but doesn't take medication. when i was little he mostly took it out on matt, i was scared of my dad. i don't blame him for leaving. i left to, to go with my mom. matt ended up cheating on my dad (thats what my dad says anyway) hes also a compulsive liar. now i really know how matt had it with my dad bc the way he treated matt is the way he treats me now. always screaming bc u forgot to put cheese on his salad or you've been gone working til 10 and been at school all day so the house isn't clean. sometimes hes good but you just never know which end of psycho street he's working. i've tried calling him over the last couple years but he never answers. i look so much like my father i think seeing me just hurts ya know? and for him to be able to get over my dad was difficult bc my face is a constant reminder.
so i just sent matt (his ex) an email. hopefully he will respond. i don't know why but i really want to talk to him and maybe see him. was it wrong to send the email?
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