People watching is a hobby of mine. I'm not sure if it's due to my fascination with sociology or maybe it's just because I find comfort in the idea of human nature and the unfortunately, survivor of the fittest. It's a sham, it's upsetting, however, it's the way life works. Yesterday, I was dealing with a lot of personal issues and found a little bit of solace in knowing that I had nowhere to go in any sense of a timely matter once I was done with my Thursday hook up with friends up at a local pizza place by the college. Once that was done, I waited for my bus. Watching people tends to be a very mysterious thing. You need to make sure that you aren't watching too long, and make sure to have a mind free of thought in order to listen out for random conversations. It's nearly voyeurism, yet there are no cameras involved. NO, I am NOT like that, thank you very much. I just enjoy seeing what people do and how they survive in their surroundings.
Anyway, I was waiting for my bus, alone in the bus stop, I watched people walk slowly with arms full of work, struggling to get 100 feet without dropping anything. I saw people rushing, people taking their time, people panhandling secretly while looking around for anyone who would turn them in. I saw coworkers talking, others rushing to catch a bus. And then...I saw something that disgusted me, but hurt me even more.
After seeing a car being pulled over, a movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention and I slowly turned to see a man, looking around curiously, cautiously, and when he felt safe enough, he reached into the garbage can and found a to-go cup that had some liquid left in it. Bringing the straw to his lips, he took in long swigs of whatever liquid the cup contained. Looking around again he dropped the cup back into the garbage and continued on his way.
Life in these times, you'd think that everything would be better off. To have the accessibility to get a bottle of water or jump into a fast food restaurant and get a cup of water. But to dip into the levels of garbage picking just to survive. It broke my heart.
Riding the bus, I saw people sleeping, talking to each other and more often than not, to themselves. I heard whimsical conversations of a life in California and all the people he met. Hanging out in his townhouse, making friends, how to make money fast. He was a real life infomercial of potential lies, but people bought it. I heard snoring and laughing, phone conversations with a young child and pages of a book flipping.
I used to fear the unknown, but in one day, I realized that it's not the unknown that I fear. I found that I fear people see who I am when my guard is down. I fear that there will be someone just like me, watching, listening, examining everything I do subconsciously. But then again, I did the same thing...when I took the bus and did my people watching that day.
**EDIT** I got a note and realized that everyone is capable of people watching, even if you don't much feel like leaving your home. All you have to do is hit random diary on this site and you are open to everyone's life. |
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