...and the feeling of being unloved." Mother Teresa of Calcutta
If there was a way to rid of these horrid feelings of utter loneliness, I would fight to make it work. I've noticed that there are so many people who I care about who don't reciprocate those feelings. I'm not saying that I want people to love me...I just want to know that I exist. I want to know that I make a difference in their lives. I want to know that there's a reason for my existence.
There's only so much of the lack of conversation that one can take. Let me compare it to being sentenced to solitary confinement without ever having committed a crime. Or maybe I have. Maybe my crime is just caring too much about people and expecting them to care back. Yes, I deal with this every month - yes, I know I'm overly emotional...but if I have to face this everyday, you know something is wrong...very very wrong.
Again, expecting something to change without ever hinting that there's something in need of change is my fault. But after a hint is made time and time again, and no change occurs? Who is at fault? I can only take so much of the blame before I become so disheartened by the obliviousness that I give up.
I'm at that point.
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