So, this book says I'm codependent.

I am reading a book for recovering codependents. I have a million books, and I opened it to just check it out. A "friend" of mine gave it to me about a year ago, and I was pretty offended when she gave it to me, because to my mind, I was not codependent. But the more I read it, it talks about how codependents feel victimized and don't know how to stand up for themselves. It also says that codependents are prone to feeling shame, guilt, and that they try to control people into doing what they want so that they don't feel as bad. Now, I think that some of the content in this book I relate to. However, I don't really consider myself to be controlling just because I get upset when people treat me badly. Is that not the appropriate response? For example, I have a friend that I love very much. It brings me a lot of joy to be around her. But she is always bailing on me. She lives about an hour and a half away from me, and she has been sending me messages all week, "I'm so excited to see you! Can't wait to see you!" She bailed on my birthday party, a few weeks ago, that SHE volunteered to throw for me, and told me that she would make it up to me when she came in this weekend. She even sent me a message earlier today confirmi