usually it's something my gaming friends and i say when stupid shit happens when we're dice-chucking....
but.....
the more i look in the mirror.......the more i think on it....the more i come to realize that it's possible i'm more broken than i thought...
i dunno......i can be such a chump.....i fall hard and fast.....and i always seem to get hurt...
Gods there are days when i wonder if i say 'i love you' to a person just so i'll know what it's like to have them say it back
.....i know i have Erika
....but that's different....i don't know how, it just is....
i mentioned i ran into Jen the other day.....and i thought i was done with her, over her...but seeing her again....makes me wonder, makes me feel.....makes me hurt......i think she broke me more than i'd initially thought....
and the stupid part...over and over i think about telling her...."i fucked up, i really regret fucking up....you weren't perfect, but can we give it another shot"
i'm such a chump
Gods, i really didn't want this blog to end up being me bitching about my love-life....that's why i started a new blog..to get away from that.....and yet......
*sigh* i can be such a chump....
one foot in front of the other....get up when you trip...
but i think i'm going to sit in the dirt for a little bit and cry over my skinned knee.
p.s. my bitching may seem stupid in relation to all the genuine bad shit people go through...i get that but this is my life, and my blog....so i'll complain about what i damned well please! |
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