As I write this I'm doing a ton of soul searching and thinking and yes going through this process of divorce is hard but it's something that has to be done and as going thru this processes I keep replaying things in my mind and also I love my wife but I don't like things that she has done or actions that has effect this marriage and now she wants marriage conciling for this marriage while we go back and forth on the divorce and I know what I want and honestly I felt like I was lied to on some counts and now I'm being the bad guy cause within the last few months I been withholding sex from her for my reasons and now I'm wondering if I want to make this marriage work anymore or just keep doing what I been doing and just let the marriage finish being destroyed by the lack of sex and other things in my life and right now I'm not really talking to my mothers side of the family all cause they want to butt into my life and other things and honestly my mom told me what happen and asked her if she wanted my help and she told me no and all my family has pretty much put their say in witch has pissed me off and as for my car its still dead and transmission is fucked up and now I have 2 jobs now and I'm regretting taking on 2 jobs now one at a gas station and at a retail store and now starting friday im going to b working both at the same time and i hope i can make it work | 
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