Miscarriage.. ): Painful.

11/17/2010

3.15PM
What a shit week! ):
When i woke up on Monday i felt so ill - tired, sick, headache, stomach ache, diarrhea-like. I jus thought i had a bug coming from work but on Tuesday morning i started bleeding. I was all over the place, i tried ringing the Gynae department at the hospital for 3 hours & couldn't get through so mama took me straight to A&E. I got seen near enough straight away. A very nice doctor took care of me, and explained everything that was going on - ( miscarriage ): ) - he did a stomach examination, and one inside my womb, took a load of swabs & that incase i'd got infection. He said that naturally a miscarriage can take up to 2 weeks before it finishes so he advised i take the termination tablets. I did, and OH MY DAYS!! WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAT?! Last night i was in so much pain. It was unbelievable. I was absolutely fine throughout the day - i went shopping, i'd bought our cooker & Chubb's birthday present, me & mama had soma to eat, when i got home whilst Shane was reading his book i had a clean through - then at about 10 i went to the toilet & a clot the size ( and i am not joking! ) the size of a golf ball came out, aftet that they jus wouldn't stop coming out. I must've lost about 8 clots last night, all of them were quite big. I got snuggled up with Squish in bed anyway, and that's when i started getting SEVERE sharp pains in my stomach. They'd last about 10 minutes then stop for 5 minutes, then they'd come back again. I couldn't stop crying, and i can't now ): I was up & down all night. At about 5AM they got that bad i actually thought i was in labour - i went to the toilet to sit down & i couldn't, then i stood up and nearly threw up everywhere, then my legs caved in below me so i knocked my cabinet over in the lounge and i jus went so dizzy. Shane took me straight to back to bed and i calmed down. I jus hope that after all the scans i've had that they're sure that i'd miscarried a long time ago because to me it felt like my poor little babee was dying inside me. I feel sorry for little Squish - i know he's upset but he won't share it, whenever i woke up he kept saying 'Sssh i'm not going anywhere'. Bless him. What i'd do without him i don't know.