Sundowner

I created this after one particularly stressful night at work. I realize that coming home and immediately mixing a drink probably isn't the healthiest thing to do, but it did in fact calm me down, so that's something. Things have been starting to spin out of control lately. Slowly but surely flying farther out of my grasp. 

At work, my hours have been getting cut slowly back because of seasonal slow down, so I've been having to slowly seep my paid sick hours into checks where I work all my days because I don't have the hours I'm used to. There isn't even the right amount of work to due, thanks to the other huge problem with my job. Until recently, my department manager worked on days, which was just great because he's a bloody moron and, I swear to you, has no idea how to do the first part of his job. He used to work customer service for years, but a couple years ago was thrown, with no training, into my department. We all know how to do the job, but he won't listen to anyone trying to help him. So his clueless ass pottered around during day hours and we were generally left alone on third shift. Recently he's been put on third shift as well because he gets nothing done during the day shift (obviously) and they put another guy on days because we were dangerously behind on what needed to be done, thanks to the manager. Now, instead of having 600-800 piece loads come in and splitting it up evenly among the three workers, we get 500 piece loads, of which he will work MAYBE 50 cases and leave the rest for me and one other person. So we are effectively doing the majority of his work. Then just the two who did most of the load get the whole store set up for the day. From 10.30pm one night to 7am the next morning, I and one other person do half a load of product each, get the store in shape and all the other small work. In the same time frame, the manager does his 50 cases. And NOTHING else. Which is bad enough. But then, the other day, we were almost an hour ahead of schedule, with him even further behind than usual and he had the fucking balls to tell me that I needed to pick up my pace. Fortunately, He was more than half an aisle length from me when he said it, because I fucking swear I would have choked him. As it was I barely kept the stream of curses I couldn't stop at a volume inaudible to anyone but the coworker a foot away. I do all this fuckers work every night he's in, and I need to pick up my pace? Fuck him.

Also, my vehicle's down for the count. Has been for a long time now. I don't know what it is. Both my dad and I have fixed various things on it and it seems to make everything better for about a week. Then it goes to pot again. Which is frustrating considering I've dumped a couple hundred bucks into it by now and it won't move without over-heating. And I'm always strapped for cash, thanks to the work and all, so I can't do anything else about it right now. All I can do is add it the the already enormous list of things I own but can't afford. So I alternate between walking to work (which sucks in a Michigan winter, no matter how mild) and driving my mother in law's car. I hate it, but it's a necessity. By the way, I hate it because it means I occasionally have to see her. Which is awful.

I have yet to be able to point to a point in this year that I can define as "good." I'm just hoping this summer sees things picking up, but I'm not too optimistic. The few good friends I have left in this town are moving away in the spring, so I'm just not seeing anything positive in the immediate future. I need something. I don't know what. I'm looking for a needle in a haystack, only I'm not sure if it's really a needle, or if it's a card, or maybe just a straw of hay that's a different color. I don't even know.

And now I've finished a Sundowner, I'm going to bed.