In order to fully understand what I am talking about in this entry, you might want to read the previous entry.
Although I was completely hurt and broken after Andrew and I had broken up, I used it for the good. I didn't get mad, I didn't hate all men. I used it to help other people who were struggling with relationships. I had honestly thought that my relationship was healthy and that's why I was able to help people with theirs. I thought we had broken up because things just got too hard for him.....but I was wrong..so wrong.
The night of our one year anniversary Andrew went out with friends, and hardly texted me that night. This was the night he had sent me a beautiful bouqet of flowers, the night he asked me to marry him again (because he had done so numerous times). I received no call from him that night of the following day. I believed his excuse that he was tired. They were all lies.....
He had cheated on me. He had found someone in the air force that had something that I didn't have, and that was where he was. She was where he was and I was at home. That's why he didn't text me, that's why he didn't call. After telling me over and over again "If it's not you, then it's no one" he had found someone else.
Of course I had no known this until his friend had informed he. He told me to put all the pieces together. No call, wanting to miraculously leave the next day, not talking for weeks. He told me "Anmarie, people just don't decide they want a break the day after they marry someone." It all hit me. I had cried for weeks because of some girl. She ruined my life, my future.
Those thoughts then came pouring in "Why, what's wrong with me? How could have i prevented this? If i had only married him, none of this would have happened." And then I stopped and thought to myself...."If he had done this now, he was going to do this eventually. Marrying him would not have prevented him from cheating. Marriage doesn't put a barrier up to prevent people from hurting you." And it was that moment I became strong. Everything happens for a reason. There is a reason for everything.
I am so super woman. It's not like I've always been strong. Words can be so decieving. It took me weeks to become strong. I was a wreck before then, and sometimes even now i break down. But what i do have is the power to believe in the beauty of life. We all go through struggles, there is people who go through far worse and are okay. That's what you have to live by. Everything happens for a reason, we may not know it right away, but the moment you do, you'll be happy things happened the way they did.
<3alwayssmile. |
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