Don't you dare ever say you don't deserve him! He's great and you totally deserve a great guy dammit!... and I HIGHLY doubt that he'll ever have to "really look at you" since he does so daily. He loves you, ALL of you, you goofy thing! I know that the whole... EX *cough*bastard*cough* and the still being married thing bothers you... but it's not like it's entirely your fault... if SOMEONE had been more cooperative you'd have had your divorce long ago.
Perk up dearie.
LOVE YOU!!!
you do deserve 'topher. I am glad that the doctor visit went down decently. Chris and I are like an old married couple, but i think that just means that we are comfortable with eachother. Does 'topher know your doubts and whatnot? Your fears? Why don't you go and talk with him about it. It will be all right.