Do you like who you are?

08/01/2009

Who out there can honestly say they like who they are? I mean who they really are? All their "flaws" and quirks and idiosyncrasies. Can people really see perfection inside imperfection, love what they hate, tolerate the intolerable.

I can't. I was recently asked, "Mike, do you like yourself?" My answer was no. I see all of my physical imperfections, I constantly remember my past and all the people I've hurt. I can't stand myself!

I came across a writing a few years ago by an anonymous author. It reads:

"Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear. I wear a mask. I wear thousands of masks, masks that I am afraid to take off and none of them are me.

Pretending is an art that is second nature to me but don't be fooled. For my sake, don't be fooled. I give the impression that I am secure, that all is sunny and unruffled within me as well as without; that confidence is my name and coolness is my game, that the water is calm and I am in command; and that I need no one. But, don't believe me, please. My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is a mask, my ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.

Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence. Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness. But I hide that. I don't want anybody to know it. I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed. That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind - a nonchalant, sophisticated facade - to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance she knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only salvation and I know it. That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love.

It's the only thing that liberates me from myself, from my own self-constructed prison walls, from the barriers I so painstakingly erect. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself - that I am really something - someone special.

Please love me."

Every individual is unique. They all have their own demons they must battle on a daily basis. They have their own likes and dislikes. No one is exactly the same.

Is it possible as a human race to see the good in a person instead of the bad? Can we possible understand where those "bad" qualities came from? What do we really know about the people we encounter every day - their hurts, fears, pain, confusion, past, mistakes? Would you want others to judge us for that? Discuss - what do you think?

Mike's address is located on the front page of this diary. He would love to receive even a slight post card or encouragement letter during this tough time. Please remember that he's not allowed "pen pals" but can have friends write him so if you do write him please act like you're his friend. Also, if you want to know anything about Mike and his crime you need to write him. This is not my place to tell everyone his business. If he wants to tell you, he will. If not, oh well.

Queenbutterfly helps control this diary.

I will always include pictures of the letter to prove that this is real.

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DOES LIKING ONESELF NECESSARILY ENTAIL SEEING PERFECTION IN IMPERFECTION? LIKE, WHEN YOU LIKE SOMEONE ELSE, DO YOU SEE THEM AS PERFECT, OR DO YOU SEE THEIR FLAWS AND QUIRKS AND LIKE THEM ANYWAY?

DO YOU NOT THINK IT POSSIBLE TO BE CONFUSED AND FLAWED AND MAKE ALL KINDS OF MISTAKES AND LIKE YOURSELF ANYWAY? TO SEE BOTH THE GOOD AND THE BAD IN YOURSELF AND IN OTHERS?

AND WHAT HAVE PHYSICAL IMPERFECTIONS GOT TO DO WITH IT? MUST I STOP LIKING MYSELF BECAUSE I HAVE LUMPY ANKLES AND CLICKY HIPS? WOULD YOU STOP LIKING A FRIEND BECAUSE THE FRIEND GOT A SCAR OR A ZIT OR SOMETHING? PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES SEEM A DAFT THING TO BASE AFFECTION ON, YO - UNLESS YOU ARE HAVING A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF AND YOU WISH TO TURN YOURSELF ON BY YOUR LOOKS.
***
CLICK MY EGGZ && BABY DRAGONZ, YO!

[ LADY PUCK|0 likes] [|reply]

SO DOES MIKE GET TO LOG ON TO BLOOP AND READ COMMENTS, OR DO YOU PRINT OUT THE COMMENTS AND SEND THEM TO HIM BY POST?
***
CLICK MY EGGZ && BABY DRAGONZ, YO!

[ LADY PUCK|0 likes] [|reply]

AS FOR THE QUESTION ABOUT JUDGEMENTS, YES, PEOPLE ARE GOING TO JUDGE A SEX OFFENDER VERY HARSHLY INDEED, WHICH IS WHY IT'S RATHER UNWISE TO HAVE HIS PHOTO, NAME AND ADDRESS AVAILABLE ON THE WORLD WIDE WEB.
***
CLICK MY EGGZ && BABY DRAGONZ, YO!

[ LADY PUCK|0 likes] [|reply]

I believe that it's very possible to see the good in people, I just think that as human nature - we are constantly trying to guard ourselves from the bad ... so we are looking for IT, rather than looking for that good. I think only after we have found someones flaws, will we begin to see the good in them, too.

I don't know if maybe I'm amongst a minority of people, but I think I am perfectly capable of seeing beyond ones flaws. And, I don't always think that those people are stuck with those flaws. I do believe that people can change, regardless of their past.

I, of course, as a human - would not -want- someone to judge me on my past, and things that I've done, but I also know that we cannot always expect that to be how things work. It's quite unfortunate, but, I'm afraid it's just the way we work.

I also hope that you know you're not alone in feeling imperfect. You are! We all are! Perhaps that's the only fortunate thing about feeling that way, is knowing that everyone else does, too. =)

[Barefoot & Pregnant. Star

|0 likes] [|reply]

Unfortunately, I think it is human nature to "judge a book by its cover". A bad first impression is often difficult to overcome. And, for whatever reason, we always tend to see the bad in people rather than the good, especially convicts, homeless, etc. I don't think it's right because everyone has a story...everyone has become the person they are based on their experiences in life. Not all of us have been blessed to have the "perfect" life. Do we really even know what IS perfect?

There are plenty of things in my own past that may "turn people off" to me. There are mistakes I've made along the way that may make people think that I am not worth their respect or friendship. I have been guilty of judging people before learning the wholoe story. But I mostly try to realize that my ideals and beliefs may not be the same as yours or the person next to you. That doesn't make your choices or actions, whether they are right or wrong, worthy of being judged by me.

Sadly, not a lot of people feel this way. I know some very close minded people in this world. I choose not to associate with them or, if I do associate with them, choose to say nothing if they say something I don't agree with because they still have the right to say it. But I'm not like most people.

Just my 2 cents.

[Mommy_Bunny Star

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i don't like to look into myself to see my flaws or my goodness...because i am who i am. God has created me this way for a reason, and when i start to look at myself and doubt what was created, how then am i being a faithful servant?
i want to strive to be more like Jesus...this is one thing that i'm working with. society is all about looking at yourself and seeing all that is wrong about you. everyone is quick to judge others and point their fingers at them. it's not up to anyone but God to judge another. we weren't created by ourselves...and there is a reason we feel what we feel, we act how we act. we just need to trust in Him...and He will lead us to where He wants us to be...regardless of what others around you are telling you.
♥

[BrownEyedMonkey Star

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previous entry: 79635 - I'm just a number.

next entry: Have you loved lately?

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