Twilight rant because I can't fucking take it anymore.

VAMPIRES DON'T FUCKING SPARKLE
They don't.
They aren't pretty boys and secretly gay either.

Traditionally, as in back in ye olden times, vampires were ugly FUGLY men/women who were outcasts of society. They weren't good enough to wash the carriages that people drove around in and they were usually the ones to blame whenever a plague broke out, or a person died unexpectedly thru some freak accident or grew ill unexpectedly.

Can I remind you that no where in that description does it say that anything sparkles.

Let me tell you where all this started. Take a journey with me, will you?
My friends Kayla, Gen, and Lydia were all reading the books. The covers were really glossy and looked really artsy, so naturally I went: "Oh this must be a well thought out book and something that I should look into reading."

Then, they saw the first movie, and instantly denounced the whole franchise (well, at least Kayla. I know that the other two lay some claim to the books still. I love calling Kayla out whenever she says that she never liked that stuff. Hahah.) Anyway, the books were such a huge phenomenon that I told myself: "hey. It might not be that bad." Oh. My. God. I got a loan from the first book and I was pretty sure I was either going to kill Bella or myself if I didn't quit reading it.

What a pretentious, self loathing, whiney little twat that Bella character is. (Oh, on a side note, Stephanie Meyer, in my opinion, couldn't write her way out of a paper bag. She would walk around stupidly for a moment before curling up on a side corner, sucking her thumb.) Bella is probably the absolute worst female lead character I've ever read.There is not one redeeming quality about her other than she has the knack to be clumbsy and therefore injures herself, which makes me feel better that I cant do physical harm to her myself. She whines about stuff that she made happen in her life, she falls all over Edward like he created her himself, acting like a brainless maidservant. For someone who's supposedly "so smart", she acts like she couldn't make it through a book of Dr. Seuss.

As for Stephanie Meyers vampire creation, she has essentially taken everything that I love about vampires and decided to make a fun tween friendly shiny thing for them to play with (pun not intended, honest.) She has essentially created the metrosexual vampire. Vampires, in my world, are people like Bela Lugosi, someone on the screen is dark, sexy, somewhat terrifying, but has this alure like you can trust them with anything. Also, the Dracula from the updated version with Winona Ryder, once he turns young, has that same vampire alure. Edward just comes off looking like a fairy with fangs. I don't count anyone terribly scary who has glitter on them.

I'm just so sick of hearing about it, and I hear about it a lot, considering I roleplay on myspace. (It's not dirty. haha. It's actually an amazing writing tool.) EVERYBODY is using their faces to portray their new profiles. Kristen Stewart, no offence to anyone who likes her, but she looks like she's one step away from the Betty Ford Clinic. She and Robert Pattinson are only together because of some sort of publicity stunt because R.Pat is gay. Its just so fake and bullshit to me.

And all the Team stuff? At first it was kinda cute because it was ominous and only people who read the books really got it. It was kind of a nod like: "Yeah I read it." Now, EVERYONE is on the bandwaggon. Plus, theres too many people to keep up with. Theres like apparently fifteen people that Bella is in a relationship right now. (Girls kind of a whore. Just saying.)

So there you have it. Twilight is a money sucking trainwreck disaster that is fueled by a mediocre writer and blindsided fans who cant get past Taylor Lautner's abs to actually realize that the film is actually pretty aweful. Guess what. That bad taste in your mouth isn't the popcorn at the theatre. Its actually from the forced lines that K.Stew is mumbling out.