It's been almost half a year since you decided to take your madness public. Cost me a couple of friends, not unexpected, but only a couple. What did it benefit you? Because from where I'm sitting, all it did was clue everyone else in to how far you'd gone off the deep end. Oh, and lost you a number of friendships too. And for what? You're still terrified of your own shadow. You're still trapped in your own house. Your marriage is deteriorating, because you can't find it in yourself to lift a fucking finger. People are forgetting who you once were, and aren't all too impressed by what you've become. And you've completely wrecked any affection or regard I might have had for you.
The day may come, I suppose, when you find the right doctor, the right medication, the right whatever, and your head may clear and you might turn an eye towards repairing your wreckage.You might even be so bold, so "strong" as to come knocking on my door. You know me better than almost anyone, or at least you did once. You know how importatnt the idea of forgiveness is to me. But before you knock on that door, there's two things you ought to know:
1) I've already forgiven you. I'm sad about the choices you made, sad to see you so forcibly eject yourself from so many lives, but I bear you no ill will, no malice. You hurt me badly. I forgive you.
2) I am incapable of imagining circumstances under which I might be willing to trust you ever again. You bought yourself a one-way ticket out of my life. I wish you well, I hope you find peace and healing. Do it without me.
There's also a nonzero chance that, having had no response from me, you'll become further irate and irrational and launch another attack of some sort. Should you be so moved, say whatever you like about me. If it meets the legal standards for libel, defamation, or slander, you'll be hearing from my attorney, and we'll let the lawyers figure it out. Still no direct contact, as you requested.
But if you ever, EVER, malign my wife, or the man responsible for you having a fucking home in which to live? That'd be a mistake from which I doubt you'd recover. So just don't. They did nothing but show you love and kindness, and you spat in their faces already. Don't compound that mistake.
It's funny. You loftily instructed me to "not stalk you online". That was your ex, not me. I wouldn't have the first idea how to do so. You, on the other hand, DO have those skills. So leave a comment, if you happen to find this.
And then move along.
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