Do I have any right to be this mad?

I think it's time to get rid of facebook altogether. Just delete it and everything and everybody! I'm only friends with people I know and people off of here. Kevin? Oh whoever! If they pop up in that little "people you may know" box, his immediate reaction is to friend request them...and then look through their pictures to see if he really does know them. Well I went and got snoopy today. I went through his friends list. Who did I find? GIRLS! Ex's and people he wanted to date and people he made out with and one night stands...oh yes, the whole lot! I'm freaking mad! People I do know pop up in that box but I would never think about friend requesting them. Why? Because we were not friends then and we won't be now! I almost hacked his account and deleted them but I thought that might be going to far. Oh but who am I to care anyway? He only gets mad when I like Tyler's status...I went to church with him, he's like two years younger than me, he has a girlfriend that he would never even think about cheating on and he has a mental disability! But Kevin gets to sit there and be mad about it. You know what, go ahead! Be mad. Part of me, yes, wants to delete FB but the other part wants to go and add all my ex's and people i screwed and made out with and had one night stands with just to get even!

I'm not a violent person, I wasn't raised as one, my parents never abused me but dang, there are so many bad things running through my mind. Like taking a bat to him or my laptop and whacking him across the face with it. It's even bringing back memories of a show I watched where this guy would drown someone and then bring them back to life and drown them again until he buried them alive...and it's all so horrible and I shouldn't even be thinking about it but this just pushed me beyond my limit. I could easily be someone's cell mate right now! And I would not think twice about it because I know where those women are coming from. We all have our breaking points, that moment of time when for just an instant reality becomes a real dream; when we would do something that would only happen in our dreams; that thing inside of us that when we tell ourself 'if this happens one more time i'm going to (fill in the blank)' -- when that thing comes out; when we do the unthinkable and we can't take it back -- I'm on that point of insanity and yes I can pull myself back and I can calm down and I can take other measures, but no matter, I'm still going to feel that pang of realization and it burns and stings and there's nothing I can do about it. Except for start a fight tonight but I'm too fucking tired to fight right now. I'm mad and hurt. It's like he took my heart out and smushed it into the dirt. It's like that very first break up and you don't know what to do with yourself, it just hurts and nothing can stop it. It's to the point where you wonder why you really did marry him. Why you wanted kids with him. WHY and there's no answer unless you dive down deep within yourself to get it but you're so mad that you could care less right now.

And I don't know if any of this is making sense and I don't care. It's how I feel so stfu!

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