12-21-2010
So this would be night number 2 that I have slept with my child over my husband. Granted, the first night she wasn't feeling well so I wanted to make sure she would make it OK through the night but still. So here we sit on the couch while little miss sleeps and I watch the sun come up.
Kevin went out and bought that damn rice cereal like I told him not to. He made her a bottle with some in it and we got into a huge fight over it. I understand that he works mornings but damn it, he never gets up with her. It's always me! Not that I regret having little miss, but I'm really thinking that I married the wrong person. And then he goes off on me about how we do the same amount of work. Ummm excuse me? How about not! Yes, we both go to school full time. Yes, we both work full time.....oh wait, except that I manage a restaurant while he maybe does actual work for a couple hours when they get a truck delivery. And who takes care of the baby? MEEEE! So that would be 2 for dumbass and 3 for me. And what pisses me off more is that he never came in to check on us. I honestly wish I had the money to move back to Texas and get a place because I would pack me and little miss up in a heartbeat and ship out. There is nothing keeping me here except for him and the fact that she's partially his kid too so if I steal her, then I go to jail and I'm sure as hell not letting him raise her. He got mad at her last night before I left the room because she wasn't finishing her bottle fast enough for him to turn out the light so he could go to sleep. So I grabbed her, her stuff, and my pillow and we hit the couch! She did great though. She's only been up twice for an actual feeding and once for a snack feeding and a diaper change. It was nice to get some sleep even if it was for only 3 hours at a time.
So I think last night was the first time I haven't cried over one of our fights. I'm tired. I'm done. I'm sick of it. I decided I wasn't talking to anyone today...except maybe my sisters. Yesterday Kevin's mom text me and asked me if things were getting "back to normal." And I know why. Kevin went and bad mouthed my family to his. And that pisses me off more than anything. It's MY family. I'M the only one allowed to bad mouth them to other people. And I know it doesn't make any sense but when I'm bad mouthing them, no one else is allowed to join in (unless another blood related person) or I'm going to give that bitch-you better-take-it-back-before-I-knock-your-ass-to-the-floor look.....if I just don't come outright and say it. His mom came over last night and was borrowing some movies and little miss and I were in the nursery (I was rocking her in the dark). The walls are freaking paper thin and I can hear him telling his mom how my mom pissed him off and how she was a bitch and there his mom was just agreeing with him and putting in her two cents. I wanted to bash both of their heads through a wall.
I think after Kevin leaves for work, I'm going to take little miss out. I'll check the weather first though. We're supposed to get nearly 10 inches of snow on Monday so I don't want to be caught in anything while I have her out and then we can't get back home. I need to mail some stuff anyway...not that it runs on Sunday but if I don't do it, I won't remember. I'm supposed to start work on Monday...I don't have any pants that fit me anymore. So I guess we'll go shopping for some of those too.......and maybe a new outfit for little miss. It's weird. She's 2 weeks, 7 pounds, and she doesn't fit into newborn clothes, except for the shirts. Oh well. I guess now we can go out and try clothes on!
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