Rants and Updates

That's right! 10 days until we find out what peanut is!! I can hardly wait. And then I have to get those stupid tests done.

I'm so mad about school! I did everything right and they have to go and mess it all up. I got 3 classes at the community college and now I need one more to keep me at a full time student. Well I have to get that other class from another college because that's where my degree is technically coming from. Well that school isn't really keeping up very well since I don't have half of anything I need from them! I keep calling them to see what the hold up is and they keep telling me to come in! It's four hours away! I have a job. I can't just up and leave. Especially now that Kevin's transmission is out and we are down to one car again. Life is just kicking my butt right now and no one wants to seem to work with me. Hey, if I could make it down there, I would but I can't so work with me! I emailed the person that I was supposed to a couple days ago and still nothing! I'm going to call today after work and if I can't get through then I'm going to say fuck it for this semester and I'll just start in the spring. I'll just pick up another class at CC and put my finger in the air! I'm sick of dealing with people who can't get their act together. I'm 22 and mine's together...where the hell are you? You work at a school so organization is a must...let's get the ball rolling people!

And Kevin's dad is pissing me off. He's getting mad at us because he thinks that CJ and Wynnstan are the ones pooping in the floor when in fact that would be his dog LuLu. CJ and Wynnstan were with us all day yesterday and nothing. We take them outside. If something happens, we clean it up. They are our dogs. Our responsibility. We get it. I'm fine with cleaning up my dogs messes but I'll be damned if I'm cleaning up his dog's. I think I've said this in a previous entry, but his dad never pays bills. So when Kevin first got here and found that out, he was mad. He got his dad's card and made a budget. The electricity was going to be cut off, taxes were never paid so they were about to be out of a house, and of course doctor bills were piling up. Now his dad wants to get the A/C fixed, which I'm fine with because it's only going to cost about $100. But on top of that he want to fix the kitchen floor. There's a hole in it that's been there since as long as Kevin can remember. His dad was like 'well the ammonium is getting to me and it's going to put me back in the hospital.' I could care less. It's not bothering me, and Kevin said that I was the most important person in this household as of right now. And I said don't fix it. When he learns how to pay his bills then he can get the floor repaired. I wear shoes, so it's not bothering my feet. And my allergies are so bad right now that I can't even smell anything so I said eff it! OH! And, thanks to me and peanut, we are getting food stamps. Well his dad has the nerve to ask Kevin if he can tell me where to shop so that I can get more with the food stamps. I almost flipped out. I was this close to going up to him and punching him in the face. Besides the fact that I had about 50 miles left in my car with the gas I had, I'm not driving out of my way just to buy him junk food. You're getting the money because of me, I'm spending it how I want. And really? What does he do all day? Nothing! He sits around and watches tv and smokes. I'm working a full time job, I'm pregnant, and going to school full time. Wake up idiot! Take on my role and we'll see how you handle it. The next time he says anything like that I'm probably going to hit him and then tell him to never talk to me again. He can already count on never seeing the baby. It makes me laugh to see that he knows how to play the manipulative game because Kevin's pretty bad at it, but I kick ass at that game. And it's fine. Go ahead and use me, but be aware that I'm using you too. He sits around and looks at everyone he's using and thinks that they don't know it, but he doesn't know he's being used either because he thinks I'm this innocent little girl without a bad bone in my body. I think I have more bad bones that good.

OK! Days 2 & 3 because I missed them!

Significant other: Kevin

Always been there, always will be. It's been rough and tough but we always pull through. It's weird how as much as I hate you, that crooked little smile will get you through anything. There's so much to say and I don't know how to put it all into words. I'm glad that we ended up being each others' rebounds. It somehow worked out. I'm glad we got married and even on the days when I wish I could back and I wish I had never met you, you know I would do it all over again. XOXO

To my parents:

Oh what to say?! It's been a long 22 years. Through all the bad times, there were some good ones. I could never replace you guys. You guys have been the greatest. Even if I didn't get exactly what I wanted, I got pretty close. I was never short on anything. I always had what I needed. I always had someone to go to when I finally realized that I was in a hole too deep to get out of. And there you were, standing at the edge, looking inside with that "told you so" look. Now that those days are pretty much over, you get a grand baby that you can spoil the heck out of and send back home. It's all downhill from here! Of course, you know I'm still going to call with my baby problems and then the teen problems and of course the college departure. I'm halfway across the country and I miss you guys like crazy but love spans through all time and eternity. Thanks Mom and Dad. I love you.

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