I hate my life Could my life get any more stressful?! I swear to god! My mother knows how to push my buttons more than anyone else I know and she does it intentionally. She came down with my little sister to see Brooklyn last week and she ended up buying me some furniture and some food and cleaning my home. She kept saying little nitpicky things like how the place looked and that she raised me better than this...just stuff that would piss anyone off. But come on! It's a freaking trailer! Yeah, it's not what I was raised in but it's what I can afford right now and it's cheap for what it looks like. And it's not like she really had any room to say anything. She was raised in one! My dad on the other hand liked it. But I think he gets the fact that I don't want any help from anyone and that yeah I don't want to live here but it's temporary and it allows me to save money. And my little sister said she wants to come back....without mom. Surprise surprise. So here are the text messages that I got from my mom (I'll be the indented entries):
How did juggling your 1st week back to work and mothering go? (it always starts off so innocently)
It's rough. I'm not sure I'm going to make it when I have to toss school in there too!
She should start sleeping in 6 weeks or so. How's the child care giver going? Looking for a daycare yet? (She said this b/c Kevin's mom is watching Brooklyn right now but I can't afford a freaking daycare and his mom does it for free!)
Well with our schedules we only need someone to watch her for an hour or two so I'm looking into the church daycares (which wasn't totally a lie b/c I did look into them)
Good idea. Let me know which ones & if you need any help picking one. May be someone from church who would be willing to come to your place for a couple hours a day.
Yeah I hope so
Well, if the going gets tough, you can come back here & set up house while Kevin is finishing school. You would make better money here so you could still send him money to help out. Plus, you would have a lot of babysitting help.
Yeah I've thought about it. (OK- that was a total lie)
If he's really moving back, it may actually help to have a place already set up for y'all. And, you would already be around inexpensive 4 year universities since you're almost finished at CC. I can help with college money and I know a lot of nice people to babysit. Think Laura and Jeremy (my sister and brother in law) are going to try and move back too. Think she's considering Houston again though. Either way, if Kevin wouldn't mind too much, y'all could make it work. Dad and I do. CC is having some sale at bookstore. Let me know what book you need for class and maybe Becca (my little sister) and I can find it if you haven't already. (and then it ends innocently)
But it always pisses me off that she thinks that she can worm her way into my life. She's the reason I left to begin with! Not that I don't love her because I do, but does she really have to act like that? Why can't she just outright tell me that she hates my life so I can tell her that sometimes I do too but it's what I'm living right now and it can only get better. I have to live this way right now so that I can finish school with enough money saved so that I can move wherever I want to for my job. She made me cry after that conversation. Partly because I miss hanging out with my family but partly because she has no right to tell me how to live my life and she's just stressing me out even more than I already am. |
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