It's Absurd These Feelings.

11/02/2009

Absurd.

Every time my heart beat begins to quicken or I feel the flow of blood rush to my cheeks I close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing. I constantly tell myself This is foolishness! You know you only want to be his friend. If he asked you...you would say no. Most of the time I can control it, I can talk without a flirtatious word leaving my lips, without gently touching his arm when we talk. But there are times when I look up and he walks by me and I feel my cheeks flush, I feel the pounding of my heart and inside I am screaming to shut up!

I can't stop thinking about him, well them actually, my friend Mo and him. Not since she came up to me at work and blurted out that they were going to see a movie together Monday night. My heart may have skipped a beat but my immediate reaction towards her was excitement. I had already gave her the go ahead months ago when I reassured her that him and I were just friends, so if she wanted him she could have him.

I even did her the favor by texting him from her phone and confirming the movie night as a date and not just a hang out. And even now typing about this,Iam excited for tomorrow night, to get her text about how it's going and to get the dirty details afterwards. But I am also excited to see him tomorrow at work, to see if he will mention it to me or if he will tell me about it afterwards. Or maybe he will keep it from me, because she is my friend and the three of us work together.

I hate this thing you people call "feelings". It's absurd!