starting over.

me and melissa had a serious talk. we are falling apart. we never talk, we hardly touch. she always seems ill and we constantly argue. i dont want to lose her, but i cant just be here anymore. im not with her just to sleep in the same bed every night. i need and want an actual relationship.
she confessed that shes stressed. i dont have a job so all the pressure of bills is on her. but she keeps it bottled up because shes afraid of making me mad. so we have decided to stop struggling with things we cant afford. we r giving up our house and moving into an apartment, government apartments. unfortunately this means we can only have one pet. i love all of my animals dearly. but i cannot part with my aunt cockatiel. i got him when she passed away. hes 17 years old and i would never give him up or force a new family on him at this age. that means i have to find new homes for my dogs. its going to break my heart. but this is what we need to fix our relationship. we need to simplify our life, reduce the stress as much as possible and get back to us! and i vow that i will never have any other animals. i love animals, more than people most of the time. but i get way too involved and i overwhelm myself with the responsibility.
im brokenhearted that we have to give these things up. but im excited to start over and fix our relationship. i dont want to end up losing my wife.

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