Ever feel like your just stuck in a runt?
My life is so boring right now.... I don't go out I don't really talk to anyone and every time Sarah (best friend) texts me I just get pissed off and don't respond to her....
I need to stop yawning....
I have $6 on me I gotta buy me something to eat donno what I want.
I think I am ready for a new guy to come in to my life.I want to have every one of the feelings I had for Ian and I want them to be returned.... I want that feeling I had the first time I met Ian it was like this omg feeling I stood there staring at him took a minute for me to speak.... I wanna be happy like I was with him. I actually wanna have the feeling I did when I missed him it made me feel almost good to be that sad when I was missing him made me see I do have feelings deep down. I wanna love a guy.
When I missed Ian so bad some nights I wanted to cry I just wanted to talk to him some nights I would play creeper and leave a voice mail message with out ringing his phone.... I want to go through that again.
I wouldn't change anything I had with him I know it was only for 7 months and most of his part was lying to me but I was happy..... First time in my life I felt wanted I felt like I could call someone a friend.
I hope to one day have somebody that just wants to be with me I hate thinking about being alone for ever I don't want someone to take care of me I just want someone to love me and be with me.
I will not find a guy off the internet been there done that... worked out well for me.... Deshun, Anthony, Lee..... yea enough said.
I use to say I never wanted a guy more then 2 years older then me but after what I have been through I wouldn't mind a guy a few more years older nothing more then 11 years that's my limit  and I really wouldn't mind if he had kids I can't see myself having my own so I would like him to either have kids already or know he doesn't want any.
I am feeling... ummm.. free? I donno.
Oh and I need a guy to understand nothing sexual will happen till I say it will. If I have learned anything from my past its that sex can't be a relationship starter because if you give it up that's all it will ever be.
I just wanna be in love.... I am getting old . |
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