Revelation [[1]]

01/19/2014

I had a sort of realization today.

Lately, I have been so fixated on the truth- how love is the only real thing, and that this physical world is all bullshit. Well, I realized that by viewing this world as bullshit, I am further driving myself away from love, from the truth. I can’t go on being angry with the hell we all live in. I need to realize that while this physical being is in the physical world, it should appreciate the vastness and beauty and oneness of life.

I had this realization while looking at a college, Reed, in Portland, Oregon. Reed is a very academically driven school, known for it’s high level of stress, vigor, and intellectual atmosphere. Going into the college tour, I was more than convinced that Reed was not the college for me. I love learning, but not in a class room environment. I also don’t like any sort of pressure, which goes hand in hand with the grading system. All this time I had figured that because this physical world is a dream- because it is not real, that nothing really matters. Education doesn’t matter…

But- something about Reed was gripping. The vibe was intellectual, yet not competitive. The students seemed to have this on-going curiosity and love for thinking, as I do, but seemed to not care so much about their transcript or class rank. Like me. Many other things about the college appealed to me, but it was this laid back attitude, yet extremely intellectual and driven focus, that struck me the most.

One of my favorite authors once said, “Even though this world is a dream, why not enjoy it?” Do not make your time in the physical realm a nightmare, for it will only drive you further into the dark and endless pit of the ego.

I need to stop refusing to care about things, just because I know they are not real. It is OK to push myself academically, and it is OK to do things that may not lead me directly to the truth- as long as they don’t drive me away from it.

To sum up my realization- While I am here on this physical planet, I can either mope about how everything is illusory and pointless, or accept that fact and move on and enjoy the beauty and wonder it has to offer.