Rory, long time holder of The World's Most Evil Lizard" title, is not
doing well, and there's nothing we can do about it. Until today, we
didn't realize exactly how very old Rory is. She's elderly in lizard
years-- and in fact, the same age as Uri when he passed on. It's the
same time of year as when Uri passed on as well. I wish I could do
something for her so she's not suffering, but there isn't anything that
can be done short of just euthanizing her, and I can't do that on my
own. I can't bring her to the vet either because not only can I not
afford how much it would cost to bring her to the pet ER, there's no way
she could survive going outside with the weather the way it is. On top
of that, vets that work the ER don't know what to do with a Uromastyx.
They're uncommon, they're not from this continent, and they're not easy
to treat. With lizards, if you see that they're sick, it's usually too
late. Rory is pretty much a miracle lizard because she's survived a
lethal lizard disease already.
This is just the cap to a
horrible week. First, I've been incredibly sick. So sick that ABOUT 50%
of whatever I ate on any given day ended up coming up (sorry!),
I had (still have really) the cough from hell, and my nose has been
incredibly clogged up too. I called out on Tuesday, stayed home because
of the two feet of snow on Wednesday, then, despite being even more
sick, absolutely had to go to work on Thursday. David's been a bit sick
too, and Pan seems to have a rash. Pan is going to the vet tomorrow,
because there's no way we can deal with a sick kitty and a dying lizard.
I know, it's terrible to bring Pan and not Rory, but Pan is different.
Rory is a pet, Pan is a furry child. I know that probably doesn't make
it any better. I really don't know how to explain it.
Earlier in
the week, I made the mistake of saying that I loved my new computer out
loud. Now, it won't start up due to a fan error. I contacted HP, did
all of the things that they told me to do (including taking the computer
apart and pulling out the memory) and nothing worked, the computer
won't start up. Well, it *can*, but it says if you do start it up, then
it will hurt the computer. INCREDIBLE HUGE GRRRR!!! HP sent a box for me
to ship it to them to fix, and the box was sent overnight, but it
hasn't shown up. Also HUGE GRRR!!! I
have to call HP (they called me yesterday while I was at work to find
out if I got the box) and tell them that no, it didn't come, and on top
of that, if I don't get it Monday, I won't get the computer in the mail
until the following Monday because of work. GAH!!! I can't deal with
this crap anymore!!!
I'm NOT doing well lately, I'm not holding
together well at all, and in general, I'm just broken. All I want to do
is to curl up in bed and just sleep so I don't have to deal with all of
this crap. I need a break, I need for things to WORK. I want someone to
just be incredibly nice to me for no reason (that's a stupid thing to
want, but in general, the world hates me), I want to be able to breathe
without coughing, I want my lip to stop bleeding (it split open the
other day and won't heal).
The other day, I was talking to
David, and he said something about how Michael just got done with
finals. He looked at me and said that Michael had a tough week with
finals, and that for Christmas was like finals for me. Except instead of
it just lasting a week, it lasted for months. It made sense when he
said it, really. That's probably why I'm so wiped out, but I can't
afford to be wiped out, I have WAY too much to do, and I'm still at the
day job.
I like working in the QC lab, I really like the actual
work that I'm doing, and I like the people that I work with too... the
issue is that the vibe in the whole place is like... a very, very slow
funeral actually. No one cares anymore, and while I like the people I'm
working with in QC, a general... um... *checks thesaurus* a general feeling of despondency has pervaded the whole
department. Yeah, everyone was miserable before, but it was a different
miserable. I know it doesn't quite make sense, but it was a hopeful
miserable, one where there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and
everyone was working hard for a reason beyond making a closing place
look better.
I don't care anymore, which is why I called out on
Tuesday. If I cared, I wouldn't have called in sick, because I was way
sicker on Friday of last week and Thursday of this week. Thursday I was
so bad that Rayona actually offered to do the stuff for me so I could go
home. I didn't go, mostly because I didn't have any PTO left. The only good bit about this week so far, is that I'm finally feeling better today,
and I'm abusing the PTO system at work and getting paid overtime for
working 3.5 hours today. Yes, I had to work on Saturday AFTER making
sure that I would only have to work four days a week.
I'm so tired, I'm going to sleep now.
Night,
John |
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