Long few days.

OMG, these last few days have been long and scary and hard and stressful and just ugh. Things got really bad with Mike. (Not between us, but things happening to him.) He is a mess right now and I feel so helpless because there is nothing in this world I can do about some of these situations he is in. I try my best to be there and be supportive, but he does tend to want space when he's really upset. Which makes it hard. But he's been so bad emotionally, and it scares me. He has even hinted at just wanting to kill himself. And obviously that scares the shit out of me. He knows. I made a point of talking to him about it. He mostly shut down as usual, but he did say he wouldn't do anything, so all I can do is trust him I guess. It has put so much stress on me though. If he doesn't answer me for awhile and I know he's upset, I like panic. Ugh. I really just want him to be okay

And as for the selfish parts of this....well....it's still taking a toll on me and our relationship. He is always in a bad mood and always getting mad at me for the littlest things. He will apologize and tell me it's not my fault, it's other things, etc. But sometimes it still hurts, I can't help it. And I can't talk to him about things right now. He is so wrapped up in his stuff (which I do understand) but sometimes I need his help and support too. I feel selfish saying that, but sometimes I can't help it. So basically, I'm wicked frustrated because sometimes it feels like I can't do anything right when it comes to him and our relationship. I KNOW that's not the truth, I KNOW it's outside things, but at the time, it just doesn't feel like it. Blah.