♥ It is all I know to do right now

05/27/2010

I just don't freaking get it! The dog was doing great as far as housebreaking goes for so long. No in house accidents nothing. And now he shits in the house every freaking time! He will purposely hold it til he gets inside and take a crap on my floor. I am so mad! We take him out ever hour whether or not he went the time before because he usually at least pee's and then he does his other business like twice a day, once first thing in the morning after being holed up all night and the other after dinner or just before bed. He goes up the stairs to hide it too! He knows better and he is hiding it. Not only that but he is doing it as defiance as well. He wanted to go with Josh and he wouldn't stay back like Josh said so he shut the door on him so he couldn't get out. Dog took a dump right there in front of the door and walked away, he pulls stupid stunts like that all the time. I honestly resent him. I don't want him at all and no matter how mad he gets Josh WILL NOT let me get rid of him. Neither one of us have the time for this, no matter how bad I wanted a dog this is not what I wanted and his jealousy/defiance issues will not be accepted in my house!

This dog is going to be the reason we get divorced because I will not put up with Josh's attitude from it either. He is a hateful bastard after the dog has done something. He talks to me like it is my fault because I wanted the dog in the first place. Welp, I am so sorry that I got post partum depression out of the blue and cannot handle it. I am sure I asked for all of it eh? Because feeling like I am living in a constant hell is something I personally requested. What an idiot. I don't like flying at all but I am seriously considering an impromptu trip to San Diego to visit my aunt. Get some time away. My mom will flip a lid, she wants me to come there but that is the last thing I need is all her problems on top of mine. Besides, my excuse is going to be that Aunt Susie hasn't even seen Claire yet. She has whether or not she thinks it is important. Every time she talks to me its about when I am bringing her granddaughter to come see her. She calls me crying all the time because she misses us. I understand but it is a little extreme, I hate it. I was never going to live near mommy all my life, as a matter of fact I wanted to get as far away as I could and she knew that my ENTIRE life.

I don't know what else to do . I am seriously beyond livid right now. I hated how Chris treated their dog when we lived with him, I used to get soooo angry and Josh knows that and now he acts just freaking like him. JUST LIKE HIM. I get mad at the dog, I yell but I am nothing like what he is. I yell to get his attention and make him listen sometimes but then it is over and done Josh dwells over it and acts like an asshole for the rest of the damn day.

Now he is getting ready for ALS. I just told him my thoughts on a vacation and he told me " I am not going." I said " O really? You aren't going to say babe I don't want you to go, you say I am not going? " I cannot believe him. I told him if he isn't paying a penny for it who gives a damn ( I don't have a for sure my aunt would but there is a good chance if I asked her to she would. ) He said he cares.... and then just stands there silent for a while. You cared so much when I was trying to talk to you about it earlier you walked away. You care so much that when I cried and begged you to get rid of the dog because it is too much stress for me right now and you cannot handle the dog OR the baby one at a time, you said no? Give me a damn break.

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