sometimes...
i think
what if niamh didn't exist,
or what if your mum hadn't died...
yes,
i play around with people in my head
and their existences.
(course i can't tell you that
.......ever
it's unthinkable
but there it is)
we're 14
do you ever stop to think about that?
does it mean anything?
a random number-
or symbolic of a lifestyle
which has eluded us?
you'll never know these thoughts
nor that i hate myself for them
you know, if we were 14-
like properly,
not just a number-
we'd be BFF.
our status, that is,
we might do a little pact
fuck, you know,
that sounds quite fun.
you'd be teasing niamh.
that's how it works
with normal teens.
she'd want to hang out with you
and you wouldn't.
little sisters are embarrassing.
i hate this ugly side
i have. |
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