So little time! lol
Things are going well. Although I do have a bit of senioritis when it comes to school. The reality really hit home when I had to order my cap and gown last Thursday. There is no turning back now! lol On a little bit of a scary note, one of my classmates who is graduating with me in December informed me that she has nominated me to be a class speaker. Say what?!??!?! What the hell would I talk about?? I am honored and flattered that she has chosen me, and of course the perfectionist in me wants the honor. At the same time, I don't want this added stress and while I don't mind speaking in public, it's just one more thing to deal with amongst a bunch of other stuff. Guess I'll just have to wait and see on that. Yesterday was my last day of my Macroeconomics class. I still have to complete the take home exam which is due by 8am on 10/16/12 but the class is essentially over which means I have my Tuesdays back (which gives me one more night of alone time with J!!!) Yay!! It also gives me more time to focus on my final class ever as an undergraduate - English (blech!!). I am really not liking that class but I only have 2 more papers and a portfolio to put together in terms of major assignments. That doesn't seem TOO bad! lol I just don't see myself pulling out an A but even without it I will still graduate with honors (cum laud) and that is a great accomplishment.
Work is the same shit, different day for the most part. I have been lax (most likely due to the lack of time and energy) in seriously pursuing a new job. But I NEED to do this...for me, Henry and J so that I can get into a position and pay scale that will allow me to do what I want us to be able to do.
Things with J are going great! I can't even put into words how much I am in love with this man. He is motivated, responsible, organized, helpful, loving, handsome, sexy...I could go on and on...truly! lol He treats Henry like his own child and Henry calls him his "extra daddy". Yes, this concerns me just a little because J has only been here for 5 weeks, almost 6 and as I feared, Henry is very attached to him. If this does not work out, Henry will be crushed. However, I do not see this not working out unless one or both of us changes drastically. We have an excellent, open channel of communication and if we can keep that going, we will be just fine. I will be going home to NH with J for Thanksgiving to meet his family which I am totally looking forward to. J surprised me with a local "weekend getaway" which was so much fun. We stayed at a Marriott a county over and met 2 of my friends (gay couple) for dinner. It was great to have them meet J and of course he got a seal of approval from my friends (which means a lot to me!). So, it was my turn to find a weekend getaway for us, especially on the weekend of 10/20 and 10/21. See, there's a little something we learned recently. I married my ex on 10/21/00. J married his ex on 10/21/10. Very weird (just another of a string of weird "signs" that we were meant to be together lol). So, I thought it would be very cool if we made a "new" memory or tradition for ourselves on our respective wedding anniversaries, especially since this will be J's first one since his divorce. I found a resort up north near the Michigan border that is hosting a Paranormal package on that very weekend. For $289, we get a queen whirlpool suite, prime rib dinner for 2 and breakfast buffet on Sunday. Additionally, a 2 hour paranormal event with a local Milwaukee company which is totally going to rock. I love stuff having to do with paranormal activity. I doubt I'll see/feel anything but I know it will still be fun! And if nothing else, we have the whirlpool tub in our room!!! *wink, wink* May I also say that sex with J is friggin' ahmazing!!!!! I have had more sex in the past 5 weeks than I had with my husband during our entire marriage (sad but true TMI there lol). We are very compatible in bed and this man knows how to tease me and drive me crazy with the slightest touch. I hope that I feel this way about him 20 years from now!!! :)
I had a bit of snafu with Gaspar recently which I told J about immediately but it has caused some concern for both of us. Gaspar invited us to Fright Fest at Six Flags Great America but now we will not be going because of these events, which is too bad. At work, about a week ago, Gaspar was very chatty. He started sharing things with me he has not told me during the past 9 months of our "relationship" including the fact that he cannot be faithful (this is something he has obviously lied to me about). I told him that he needed to use will power. So, he said "even if it's right in your face?" I said absolutely! Now, we have admitted to each other (again J knows this) that we are still attracted to each other (more on this in a minute) so he kind of taunted me a little about that. We were alone in the smoking area at work and he asked me if he closed and locked the door and started doing "that thing" to my neck that I would tell him no and I informed that as difficult as it would be, absolutely because I have made a commitment to J and I will NOT cheat on him. After I thought more about that conversation, it kind of bothered me that he would even consider doing that knowing that I am now "taken". So, I texted him and asked him if he would truly make a move on me like that because it would be wrong since I am in a relationship. It was his answer that caused the problem. He said "sorry, I will...I don't know J...if me and him were cool then I wouldn't" blah, blah, blah. This scared me and I figured I would never be able to be alone with him again because I don't trust and J certainly does not trust him (but he does trust me). After a long weekend of discussing this via text, Gaspar finally apologized stating that he does not want to lose my friendship over this and has promised me that he would never touch me as anything other than a friend. Let's hope he means that or he can kiss having kids goodbye because I will kick in the nuts so hard, he'll be sterile! lol Bottom line is that he showed me a side I have never seen before and I don't like it. If things don't work out with J for some reason, I would never, ever consider going out with Gaspar. I also learned over the past 5 weeks just how incompatible Gaspar and I would be (too much information to explain) - he has definitely confirmed for me that I have made the right decision.
I need to get some sleep so I will leave you with one of my favorite pics of J....my handsome, sleeping prince:
Love,
Carol
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