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THROUGH THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER
by Ryukotsusei

previous entry: trying to understand...

next entry: Getting sidetracked... But still kicking face... maybe hehe

Trying to understand part 2

11/11/2010

Well last time i asked about cheating... I got some interesting answers. some kind of make me feel like there is no escape from cheating and we should just accept it, even though I could never cheat myself, I thought about just letting people cheat on me and do nothing... but I got beat up by some of my caring friends, telling me that it's a form of abuse... so hmmm I would rather have a cheat free relationship but maybe all the people in the same group as me are all taken or slowly being hunted and assassinated.

My next question or should I say question, the relate in a sense:
#1: Do you believe in learning to like before learning to love, as in friends first, lovers later? I do but it seems that if you take too long to get serious (seems like a few days sadly) they move on without warning.

#2: For those that have maintained long wonderful relationships, how do you it, what makes you stick around and love the person. Why do you it? I want to know, because I can never seem to last long with anybody and I was totally a good man.... I think.

any how, like last time I look for opinions and/or advice.
Thank you for those who answered last time and thank you in advance to those who may answer this time.

previous entry: trying to understand...

next entry: Getting sidetracked... But still kicking face... maybe hehe

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If you 'don't mind' cheating (or would even consider tolerating it...) why don't you consider an 'open relationship'? Where you're both free to see other people but are completely honest with each other? Some people just naturally attract cheaters. It sucks, but it's true.

I like the idea of friends before lovers, but unfortunately like you said, if you take too long you might blow it. I don't think that "Friends first" can really be planned successfully. It has to happen naturally- You have a friend, and it turns into something more. I am in a successful relationship, and that's exactly how it happened

[Poetic Justice|0 likes] [|reply]

o.0 open relationshp ahahaha thats stupied way to say xD soo i guess ur saying wooo jus go n be a pimp it wont be call cheating well i guess u can do that but think about it most pple are not out there for a "open relationship" they are mostly out there for a long term relationship...they want someone to love n be love someone they can call their own witout "sharing" thats wat u call love. Love is something pple want only for themself n their partner stupied...im guessing ur doing that urself cuz u wouldnt kno wat a real love would be thats sad xD but eh thats ur lfe i guess...

[|reply]

For your first question, there's no one way to love right. For some people, it comes out of the blue... one minute, they're friends, the next, they're making out, and the next minute, they're getting married and don't know what hit them. For other people, it started as a blind date, or meeting at a bar, etc. You can't decide to do it one way and look for that to happen. The second you start trying to make it happen is the second it doesn't work. No matter what the scenario is - whether you're friends or just meeting for the first time, or anything in between - love just happens with no warning, no bias, no choice. You don't choose who you love or how to love. Love chooses you. Actually, love often punches you in the face and knocks you out . My advice to you is if you decide you like a person and would like to try dating, be open and honest with them as soon as you know you want to try. If that person feels the same way and is ready or feels the same way but wants to wait a little while longer or just doesn't have those feelings, then you'll know for better or worse. Sometimes you can get really hurt by wearing your heart on your sleeve. In fact, that will be the outcome 99% of the time for anyone. However, that 1% of the time that your heart isn't crushed is 100% worth it in the end. We go through a lot of relationships and heartache before finding the right person to settle down with for life. The best things in life require the greatest risk. The best things in life also aren't predictable or able to be planned. James and I moved in together a week and a half after meeting each other. We just knew it was right and meant to be. Everyone else thought we were being crazy and stupid, but when you know, you know. Most people aren't as lucky to know so quickly and that's okay too.
As for question number two, Love makes you stay. If you truly love each other, then those stupid fights and silly pet peeves no longer matter. You laugh about it afterwards. Laughter helps too, by the way. If you can't laugh about how stupid you were being with each other or at how annoying something about that person can be, then you've put up a roadblock. Sometimes, loving a person so much it hurts is what causes the two of you to have stupid fights but it's that same love that keeps you together.

I am a strong believer in "Everything happens for a reason." I've seen enough of it in my life to have no choice but to believe in it. The three worst things that have happened to me in my life led me to right here, right now. I can't imagine my life any different. If any ONE of those three things didn't happen, I wouldn't be here.

Hang in there. You WILL find the right person. It may take a while, but she'll come along. Don't settle for anyone. Don't settle for cheating, especially. If a person has to cheat, they don't deserve you.

[Sunlight Silence|0 likes] [|reply]

If they move on without warning, then they didn't feel the same way you felt about them. My relationships always start with friends first, and I usually wait for them to ask me. And if they were to 'move on quickly', then I'd know they weren't worth it.

I've been in a new relationship for almost two months. So I can't really answer #2. But I feel like it might last a while. =) I guess because, they make you see the world in a different way, they are beautifully supportive, they understand you inside and out.

[rubusStar|0 likes] [|reply]

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