!thx u make me feel like crap

to you, who made me feel like a loser today, thank you. piss off.

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OKKAAYY.
no matter what i do i feel like crap.
i work 6 days a wk now, and clean when i get home. patrick makes dinner most of the time bc he's a WAAAY better cook than i am ^_^.
but anyway, back to the real reason i'm writting right now ... and fighting the urge to cry like a little pussy-baby.
today i had the day off from work. patrick and i went with his mom to the wal*mart supercenter (i love just being there ^_^) and then to the farmer's market on transit ave to do grocery shopping and stuff .... and i felt like his mom took 3 stabs at me (not literally of course)
see ... i work off of commission, and cannot afford most name brand foods ... so it's aldi's and save-a-lot and sometimes Top's supermarket that i get our food from. but his mom always shops wal mart and wegmans and places like HOME INTERIORS and gets really nice things.

1. Well, first she says to me "patrick really needs to eat more" (LIKE SHE KNOWS!!) she doesn't live with him, and feed him ...
HE EATS A-LOOOT. like, alot alot. she acts like i don't buy $100 worth of food every week for the both of us.
2. Second, she gives me this look like IM crazy for buying instant mashed potatoes ... even though patrick is the one who likes them. so i felt like crap and bought a bag of whole potatoes ...
3. THREE ... patrick has been having back problems bc he busted his ass falling down our hallway stairs, and he has had cronic back pain since he was 16 years old. his mom asked him how his back was feeling and he said it hurt but he was on pain relievers for it. then she went on this whole rant about how it's sooo bad for him to be sleeping on a futon and how he needs a real bed and how it would be better for him to be sleeping on a real bed ...
but all i have is the futon ... bc im poor. i've been saving up for a real bed and shit, but on my budget im lucky if i'll be able to pay rent and feed us ...
i know it wasn't directed at me ...
but it still makes me feel like im not doing enough ..
even though...
he needs to get a job.
I've been trying to be the best gf possible without going over my limits as a gf and human being bc lemme tell you ... patrick has put me through a lot and most of the time i don't know if i'm at all sane or not ... lmao