Help! YouTube critique?

So I remade the video that I had mentioned in the previous entry, and I'm hoping that some of you might be willing to provide critique on the new version.

You can find it here.

My goal was to make it visually better, and generally more entertaining and more informative while being shorter. The previous video was 20 minutes. You can still get to the previous video via the last entry, but it's not listed on the channel anymore.

Thanks

Steve.