[oo3] The guy I could never get [pix]

06/10/2011

Beautiful on the Inside

Interesting story...
I have recently come into contact with an old friend from Jr.high-high school. His name is Eric. Eric was one of my best friends that turned into a crush when I was younger but he liked every one of my friends except me. I soon realized that I'd never be his type. I'm not a blonde with a hott body; I'm a brunette, thick & pretty smart if I say so myself! ((lol))
Well, after high school, Eric & I started talking and hanging out more which then turned into a little more than a friendship. He came over and spent the night with me several days. We had fun, laughed, cuddled all the things inbetween. One night he told me he was enlisting into the army and he was goign away in a few months to go to bootcamp. I wasn't worried about it because I knew that we'd keep in touch, and maybe this friendship would blossom into something more as time went on. Well, needless to say, after a couple months I never heard back from Eric. I knew he was gone, and he didn't give me a way to keep in touch or any signs that he even wanted to and I was heartbroken.
A few years later [a couple months ago] we became facebook friends and I found out he was married He told me he got married after 4 months of dating his wife after he came back from bootcamp and then he went to Afghanistan and a couple of other places since. He said I looked happy with my new boyfriend and I said that I was. Every now and then he'd come online and we'd talk, catch up and he even told me about his struggles with his wife. He said she was immature and that he regretted getting married so soon after meeting her because he didn't even know her and he was going to end their marriage. I didn't think anything of it because the last time he came home for a month or so I saw on facebook that everything seemed as normal. No status changed and his wife was still writing "I love you"s on his wall.
A few weeks ago I had received a request to be friends with his wife, naturally I said yes, and informed him that she had requested me to make sure he was ok with it and didn't think anything of it. Then a few days ago I noticed they had gotten a facebook page together with both of their names on it. He got on and requested me, I accepted and we started talking. He told me he felt a little quilty, I asked why and he responded "I miss those nights".. I was in shock really. I felt glad that he missed me and sorta proud because his wife is a blonde with a nice body and here he is missing me. It made me feel really good but I knew it was wrong. So he continued to tell me about how he thought of our nights together often and how he missed them but then he said he wished he had pictures to remember those nights. I knew what he was getting at. He wanted me to send him pics of me or get on webcam with him. He even said he was going to send me a pic the other day but he didn't know if I was around my man and then all of the sudden his wife got on!! Under the same facebook at her computer and said "hey babe were you going to send her a pic of your dick or what?" BUSTED! She said eric, this is your wife, I'm really liking the conversation, I can't believe my husband would do this.. Ugh I felt pretty shitty to be in on this conversation and I didn't say anything. I hadn't done anything wrong but I knew that what he had said was wrong and I didn't stop it at all. She tried to push my buttons by saying my name and wanting me to talk to her but I didn't say anything except that we are friends. She signed off and he signed onto his old facebook account and apologized to me. He then said he wanted to talk on skype.
I got on web cam with him, and we talked. He told me about all his sleeping issues he has and that he's definitely had troubles with a lot of the things he's seen overseas. He was opening up with all of his feelings and I knew that he needed someone to talk to but not longer after did the pictures come up again. He started to flirt and tell me how gorgeous I was and even though I liked it, again I knew it was wrong. Then I was about off work and told him I had to go he said that he wanted me to take some naughty pictures of myself and give them to him the next day, all I could think of to say is we'll see He ended our convo by saying talk to you tomorrow sexy.
That night when I went home to my bf I looked at him several times, catering to me and giving me kisses, I felt so guilty that I would even CONSIDER doing that to him. He is the most amazing boyfriend I have ever had and he loves me just the way I am and always has. I knew I had to tell Eric our conversations were inappropriate and can't happen anymore.
So yesterday I told Eric "about last night.. i thought about it..a lot & decided I can't do that... You know I have always liked u.. even when u liked everyone of my friends but me..and so yesterday to think back about the time that I finally had u and that u missed it made me feel good. But reality is, you're married, and you'd never want anything more than that from me....and I don't wanna ruin a relationship w my bf for that. i thought when we were having fun n u were coming over all the time that we would be together one day..and then u told me u were leaving and i thought we'd keep in touch and instead i never heard from u and u got married and moved on..so i got over it and found someone new, someone who loves me deeply and I love him too" He told me he went to bootcamp and couldn't talk to anyone the entire time basically, and that he didn't know I was that serious about him. He said he didn't mean to hurt me and that he respected my relationship and my decisions. I told him that years ago I knew I'd never be his type, that a guy like him would never fall for a girl like me that I'm not blonde with a hott body and he said see...thats where ur wrong cause i do like u ur body and personality...u dont have to have blonde hair and petite body to be sexy in my eyes. It was nice of him to say that, but hard to believe because that's the kinda girl he married. So I said thanks and then our conversation slowly fadded off as we both continued the rest of our day.
Needless to say, I'm proud of myself for stopping it when I did but I have also learned something from all of this. One, my relationship with my boyfriend is something I refuse to jeapordize. He's amazing to me and I would love to spend the rest of my life with him. Two, that you should never feel that you're not good enough for someone. I have never had a lot of confidence because of my weight but I am still beautiful and guys still like me. I do have a great personality and to think of a guy like him, or my bf or any guy that is good looking would rather be with me than a petite blonde with a nice body is not impossible. Some guys think that's the kinda girl they want but then they're so unhappy with them.

I have included some pix in this entry:
1 is Eric & the rest are me & my bf Doug