Time: 12:15am
So I've been thinking a lot lately about how I'm 30, and how much that REALLY weirds me out. 30 just really seems old, and i'm just going to keep getting older. And my youth is officially gone. At least during my 20s, i still felt like I could be childlike and get away with it. I've never wanted to grow up. I love acting like a child. Having fun with everything I do. Seeing the world with wonder. Giggling way too much. I'm going to be that crazy old lady. Because at least i can say i went through life having fun. But there's also that other side to my life. The side that really has a fear of that day. I'm terrified of getting older, because that would be closer to death. And I'm really scared of death.
I finally admitted to Russ the other day about my fear of death complex. lol! I don't think it surprised him because he said "oh that'll eventually go away." As if it were a phase. lol I love my husband. He knows how to talk my neurotic side down. We got into another metaphysical talk after that. I'm the type of person that has to know something. If I know it's mystery, i need to find it out. like i'm watching a movie or a show and i recognize an actor from somewhere, I need to know where right away. Russ has fun with that. We'll be driving somewhere, and he'll take a random left turn somewhere and basically not tell me where we're going. lol. Anywho so that's what been on my brain lately. Mel-Brain: never a dull moment.
Anywho yesterday I worked at the Jupiter Pharmacy from 9-1:30. I love working there. I fill in there every once in a while if they need someone to work. They had JUST moved locations the night before. Michelle the pharmacist didn't get out of there until 6am. She didn't get much sleep. Poor Michelle. I love her. She's one of my favorite people ever! Anywho, when i got off, my dad was in the store. Russ had to work that store too yesterday (he works for a company that comes into walmarts to stalk things in electronics and other random depts). And my dad lives in Jupiter. He's leaving for IA tomorrow (or today) on his motorcycle. So we went out for lunch at Cheeseburgers and More. It's restaurant in Jupiter i've been going to since I was a kid. Best burgers ever! plus there's a whole arcade attached. With an indoor playground my friend and i used to know how to sneak into. lol! that sounded really bad. But all the workers pretty much knew us so they didn't care. One of them even showed us how to get in. I remember Cheeseburgers and More before the whole extra arcade room when it was just a little cubby with a couple pinball machines and one of those bar computer games on a shelf.
Anywho last night, I had a gig to host trivia at Renegades. Renegades is a country bar. Where they line dance. It has to be a personal level of hell. But it was a gig and I love hosting so of course I took it. Shayna, the girl that usually hosts was in Vegas for a week. I guess I'm the substitute host when someone can't make a gig. lol The night ended up being really fun. The crowd was great! Russ came and help me score keep too which was fun. I love being on the mic in front of a crowd. Though I love being on stage better playing a random fictional character, but this definitely scratches that itch. I miss theatre.
I was off today. I ended up having the whole apt to myself most of the day. Poor Russ had a super long day at work. He didn't get home until after 6. I didn't do much today. Which I think I'm getting tired of not doing much. Though my motivation level kind of counteracts that. I did wash half the dishes though. There's some productivity in me. I watched some Netflix and played 8 ball pool most of the day. I watched Hook for the first time in years. 
I realized I have an obsession with 8 ball pool. Game obsessions happen a lot. Before pool, it was criminal case. before that, bingo bash. before that, i think it was candy crush. Oh my god. Quitting Candy Crush was probably the best thing that happened to me. Let's see. There was that came where you blow things up in groups of of the same color, and Texas Holdem. I LOVE poker! I should start playing that again. WAY long ago, it was Mouse Hunt. I loved Mouse Hunt. Sometimes scattered in between all of those is Desktop Defender. .. But now it's 8 Ball Pool. And I think I found my permanent game. I realized Pool is just a puzzle. You have to figure out how to get your balls in the holes. I've been playing real pool for years. I used to go to bars with my dad every day after school. He'd drink with his teacher friends, and i'd go play pinball or pool. Or those bar computer games. lol Now I figured out why I've always loved pool. Because it's a game that turns closet nerds into jocks.
Not much else going on.
Tomorrow I work at 4. Ram's on vacation and we have another pharmacist coming in. Bill. Oh Bill. I worked with Bill at the Lake Park store for a year before I transferred to my current store four years ago. Bill's a REALLY nice guy. But he's also really old. and slow. And loses papers constantly. Prescriptions used to just disappear into Bill's Lala Land as we called it. And that was four years ago. He's even older. .. So it'll be fun to work with Bill again.
peace!
-mel-
12:47am
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