Time: 9:03am
State of Being: nervous about going to work today. I'm so scared I'm going to be interrogated about telling Mr. Math Teacher about the ad on craigslist about his job.
Song lyric in my head:
current desire: peace of mind that i'm still going to have a job
where am I?: in the livingroom on the couch
what's that noise?: listening to my favorite morning show.
If you were stranded on a island and could only bring 5 things, what would they be and why?
1. A HUGE box of books. Some I've read hundreds of times. Some I've never read.
2. A HUGE box of composition books. So I can keep a journal and write many novels.
3. A big comfy blanket.
4. A big comfy pillow.
(so i can sleep in comfort. ground sleep=not fun)
5. Seeds so I can grow a garden and live off the land.
---
So I'm kind of dreading going to work today. I just have this feeling the principal knew I was involved in this ridiculous drama. But if I were to do it over again, I wouldn't change my actions. If it were me, I would want to know that there's a craigslist ad for my job. It's not fair to Mr. Math teacher. Even if they did not believe his teaching style was a fit for the school, they still could have informed him instead of placing an ad behind his back. I'm glad I told the other teachers. I'm glad that there was an anonymous message sent to him.
I'm just so nervous facing her today. (the principal) I mean if anything, she has to know that all of us have been talking all weekend. And on friday, i mentioned browsing craigslist looking for tutoring jobs. So I'm really sure she put it all together that I had something to do with it. And while you may think that's not a fireable offense, i wouldn't put it past that school.
I go in at 11 every day. The door to the school is usually locked so I can't just sneak in past her. She's either sitting at the office right there by the door and will let me in when I knock, or she's in one of the teacher's classrooms and has to leave to let me in. Either way, I have to face her. I have to give her my normal Monday morning smile. But now I can't remember how I smile at her monday. "hey! how was your weekend?!"
ugh. I hate drama. I've come to the conclusion if she asks me anything, I'm just going to tell her I really don't want to be involved in this. Yes I know, because he texted me over the weekend, but I really don't want to get in the middle of it all. Which is very true. Even though I'm the catalyst, I still hate to be involved. Maybe she'll think I had nothing to do with it.
BUT if she truly calls me out on it, I have to admit it. I wouldn't change my actions. I know I did the right thing. And I stand by it. If I get fired, because I was looking out for a coworker/friend, then you know what, it's not the school I belong in as a teacher. As sad as it makes me. I love those kids. I really love teaching. But that school is so shady.
Anywho, Russ told me to wake him up at 9:30. I better get up.
Have an awesome day everyone!
peace!
-mel-
9:25pm
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