He's in a relationship?....huh..thats nice...whatever...

06/22/2013

I feel incredibly weird right now....:/
Soo the asshole I spoke to before....now he has a girlfriend. Mister 'I'm not ready for a relationship' is now in a relationship....part of me is relieved...seriously I have been worried I'm gonna run into him since we live soo close to each other and he's the type that gets touchy...(ya know...will try touching you) and that he's gonna say inappropriate things to me...possibly in front of my grandpa cause he's a dick like that...remember I said he's disrespectful....? Well those were my worries...anyway now that he's in a relationship I'm hoping that if I end up running into him...maybe...just maybe he'll leave me alone...? I won't hold my breath...but he better hope if he does run into me not to expect me to allow him to be touchy or let him say stupid shit to me... I've been worried since I deleted him from my fb friends list... cause even before I made the decision to delete him when I realized there was no way I could be his friend because he would talk all kinds of shit on fb messanger to me...he'd later check up on me to see how I was...which I know he was only trying to see if I would have a change of heart and give it up to him....which I would never consider EVER...soo to him I was mean and he would then talk shit again...I have no clue as to if he talked shit about me to his friends who were coworkers of mine and somewhat friends. Anywayz the other part of me is a little annoyed....(a small insecure part)...that he found himself another girl in such a short time...I already knew the idiot was talking to other girls when he was telling me he was only talking to me...cause I called him on it...lol...he speaks spanish and I don't but there's a thing called google translator and I was able to read his posts he didn't think I would....lol...I'm a curious person...especially if I'm talking to someone....he had been talking to some girl and telling her all the things he said to me....except more open....when I asked him about it he replied after a long pause... 'we're friends...we talk like that.'....'we're only friends'.....which at that point I told him its ok...(yeah I know..confusing...but if I was really through then why even call him on it?...I was curious...morbidly soo..)...It is a bit bruising to the old ego...cause to be honest he was cool having me as a friend with benefits but not as a girlfriend....even tho when he first tried to get at me he told me otherwise....makes me wonder if there was something wrong with me that the idea was no longer acceptable....I mean how would you take it?....it shouldn't matter to me because he would have been a mistake I would of regreted and even now when I see one of my friends liking his status and I have to see his face...I get an overwhelming need to hit him...lol. I wouldn't...I'm not a violent type...but that's what I feel in the moment...lol. Soo my little dirty secrets...when I saw the status about his relationship...I took a look at the girls' page...she's pretty....chubby like me...but girly and well....if I had to judge by the pictures...I'd say she gave him exactly what he wanted...just saying...I don't know her or anything but if I saw pics like hers on anybody elses page (and I do)...I'd think the same thing....The other secret...I looked at his page...and he's an idiot...he has a picture of himself with a gun in his mouth...with 'jajaja...' as the title...another picture of him trying to appear tough...(eyeroll)...and several...on a daily...pictures of him getting drunk....yeah there's a winner. Soo although that moment of insecurity ran through me....seeing all that just made me feel all the better of just saying 'no' to an idiot not worth my time that I wasted once again out of curiousity....and probably will again...cause I like to remind myself the 'whys' to my saying 'no' when I have weak moments because I'm still single....it definately helps...its like I'm all 'woe is me...why am I single?....I could of been with someone maybe...'...a quick look at his page....'oh that's right...cause I'm worth something..and I don't need to settle for losers...'....lol....and I move on with my day...not gonna lie though the fact that I still wanna hit him means I still have him in mind....but I'll get over it eventually...I just need to find me my 'Prince'...hell my 'King'....cause I'm a 'Queen'....lol... (Leo pride over here...lol Rawr...lol)...