Soo I told that guy I was fat...Apparently that's his type. We only talked for a bit and stopped talking cause it was clear he still wanted a FWB and out all the lucky girls who had messaged him...he wanted me. It's not a good feeling to be wanted only for sex.
There's a lot of guys on whisper who want heavy women...but not as a potential girlfriend...but a potential FWB. It's annoying that whatever I write on there... If I make it known I'm a woman...suddenly my inbox is getting messages. I have received 6 penis pics...7 full body images (1 was a girl)...and several sexual messages. Don't get me wrong there's some genuinely decent men and women on there...I just don't always feel like talking to anyone so I ignore the messages sometimes. I don't like talking to people when I seem to be doing all the work or when I know I have nothing entertaining to talk about.
About 4 guys I spoke to were really nice...non pervy types...but they're always ranging from 19-23. I pull the indifferent fat girl routine...which means I'm myself and funny. They always wanna talk again but like always I'm stuck. My mind is still elsewhere and I don't always feel like talking.
Oh...I think Al has a whisper. I'm not sure but yeah it looked like something he'd post and he was within range. Idk...
I've been playing with an IPod touch my uncle gave me and it does way more than my cell...soo now I also have an Instagram account. I added several people I knew previously and to he honest I wish I had new friends. Not because my old ones are boring or anything but because I don't really interact with my old ones and I feel continuously stuck in the past.
That girl I was hatin on at one of my jobs before added me and I really do regret ever having ill feelings. She really is nice and silly.
Anyways...Al has an Instagram like I previously said and I added him last night cause I didn't wanna seem like I was avoiding it or whatever and well I probably shouldn't have....
1st of all...I'm pretty sure he's single now. It's just weird he's not following his girlfriend and she isn't following him and he posted on Facebook he had one soo I would assume she'd be on there. Mention of her...etc...is pretty non existent. The biggest tip off is that he has a lot of friends that are girls and I don't care what excuse guys use but those are the wants and possibilities if ever they find themselves single or thirsty...I never knew how much of a perv Al could be. The pics he's liking are pretty sexy pics...I didn't even want to know but it's in the news/following area....and I don't have very many people on Instagram soo it's hard not to notice.
On the one hand I'm aware that single young guys like to play the field awhile...especially after getting out of a long term relationship (assuming he is broken up)...soo him being one those drooling over hot girls type isn't surprising right now. I've already knew he was a flirt...soo having a lot of girls to admire...eh I figured as much. Too be honest I know that he knows those aren't the types he plans on being with...simply because he knows how he is. He's the jealous type. He likes nice girls who are mature and respect themselves....or at least that's what he kept repeating at work. And his girlfriend looked like that type. I think he did feel like he was lacking something. Which is pretty messed up...but to be honest a lot of the guys never understood why a guy like him had soo many pretty girls following him around. They hated on him and I think Al liked that...but he knew he was with a girl not like any of those girls....I think right now he's seeing if he can have one of those types of girls. Sorta to prove to his ego and to others that to not count him out. Like any person with insecurities I think he's just having his fun. He is young...
On the other hand it could be that he's a shallow jerk that got tired of a good girl and traded her in for a newer sexier model. In which case I feel kinda depressed. I want to move on with my life but he's always there...stuck in my freakin head.
To be honest my day sucks right now. I woke up nauseous, in pain everywhere, with a headache, and I feel like crying. I don't know if I can get over him...and it bothers me because I want a decent man to fall for. A guy who's gonna fall back for once. I can't even move on to getting a job because I find it hard to work for other people. I'm hoping that changes tho cause I really do need a job now. Maybe my heart is breaking...that should be a good thing...means it'll heal and I can finally move on with my life...for now...I think I'm gonna go for a long walk and clear my head.
Sorry if I haven't gotten around to comment back...I feel really lost lately...but I promise I will soon. |
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