RYC: If memory serves you'd sent me that link before, perhaps this time i'll actually be able to make use of it...
I'll take a good look at it, and your quote is interesting....i'm going to swirl and swish it(like one does with a sip of wine) about my brain and see what happens.....
One thing i noticed looking at the rit, is it calls for a deed, as the site puts it: "it is necessary for you to add another deed--a life-changing deed and a deed of might" I have no earthly idea what to make of that....but i'm sure as i read over it again and start to make notes and feel things out something will come to me.
i am too a redneck! but not for that.. i don't want one that actually looks like a truck.. it definitely has to look like an SUV, just not like a van. hehe.
it is bad that you're not surprised by it, but in a way that speaks more to the people around you than to anything about yourself. your body is your own.
I don't think you're going to die. You're too fucking tough to let a little surgery get you down. And i say that not to minimize the severity of the surgery but to emphasize how strong you are.
But it's not just that my...gut is telling me this happening is a good thing. I kept meaning to say this to you, but it seemed so....damned cliche that i didn't. maybe i should have.
The way everything worked out, you getting your surgery, my finding an alternative for Cam to get taken care of. It fits too well. I have no doubt i'll be seeing you again.
But, here's a thought. This surgery can be a death. What if it's a new start for you? I know it's not a cure-all, but what if it's a first step in the direction of a 'normal' life for you. What if it's the death of an old life filled with pain and suffering? What if you're reborn anew?
And, aside from all the fear associated with surgery, are you perhaps afraid of waking up and not knowing who you are?
For what little it's worth smart people who love you have your back, You might wake up not knowing who you are, but you'll know who we are, and you can start from there.
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