Well, whats to say about my life right now, I have a job as a Dishwasher, probably wont be moved up before I leave, which will be sometime in July, if my plans dont fall through, Thats the thing, my Plans have a tendency to crash under my feet, making me fall even harder than them, everyone usually laughs and dances like puppets when ever I talk to them, Filled by Yes Men or Doubting Daves, or people that just want to spout crap at me that they think is helpful, or they like to crash my dreams, Careful, for you tread on delicate lands, My life isnt what one would call, fun...Sure my life has taken a positive turn for once in a long damned time, but I'm scared for the future, Im moving away from my home, to live with a girl I met online, Yeah keep your comments to yourself, I dont want to hear it, I love her and thats all that matters, anyways, I have many good online Friends, Two Major ones are Brandy and Jason, They're a great couple, they're right for each other, even though they're blind sometimes, but hey, I give them my full support, and I want to be like them someday, Jason, i look up to him, even though we've fought, hes like a brother to me, he's taught me much and he doesnt laugh at my idiotic ideas, Brandy is a sister, a very good sister, something ive longed for, I love my sisters, but Brandy...just feels more like a sister, shes there for me more than she might realize, and she loves Jason so much, Im happy she finally found True Happiness, Anyways, Back to my life, Kathryn, I love her, shes the lady in my life right now, Shes scared of the future...yeah We all are, I Understand her fears and Im always there for her, My other friends..im there for them too, but i carry so much of their emotional baggage, its crushing me, but I wont let them know, I keep it to myself, Work is a bother Dishwashing isnt fun, My Step family causes so many problems, I fight so much with them, no matter what, My Step Mother has to Comment about every little thing and it pisses me off,...Kathryn...love of my life, Im scared of what the future holds, though I dont show it, I'm scared...I really am, Im scared she wont like me, or things will fall through, or things wont hit off, My life is such a big mess right now, I thought i had everything together...but i don't...things slowly fall apart around me, Im stressed about a lot, I don't know how to talk about it, or even fathom the words up to express it, I Guess, Fear...Coupled with my Fear of Rejection and Abandonment has really crippled me, Im on meds for Depression and Anger and other Various stuff, Kathryn is my light, I know she will protect me...as I will her.. |
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