...& here i am, with my heart on my sleeve...

02/23/2010

im over it.

damn.
so, im pretty sure the last time i wrote in here was in september.
a lot has changed in my life since then.

first jackie marie brought my beautiful nephew Zaiden Michael in this world on October 7, 2009.
he is probably the most beautiful child i have ever seen in my life & i love him. (:

my ex jake & i have had a shitload of problems so i decided it would be better that we go our seperate ways.
he is crazy.
& thats putting it mildly.

5.5 months to waste.
& i have nothing to show for it.
it was a huge waste of my time.
whatever though.
we live & learn & thats all we can do.

a few days ago, i met jackies brother Chris.
its only been 5 or 6 days since ive known him & i feel...
i dont know what i feel.
ugh. im so worried.
hes in the army.
he has been in germany for the last 4.5 years.
he came home for about a week & thats how we met.

he had to go back to tennessee for army shit.
he called me today.

"hello beautiful."
"hey you."
"how are you doin?"
"alright, how about you."
"alright, i miss you & the whole way down to about grand rapids i was debating whether or not to turn around & pick you up & bring you down here with me."
"awww. i miss you"
"i miss you too."

kinda how our conversation went.
:/
everyone thinks its a joke & yet, im always the one who is completly oblivious.
ugh.

love.
peace.
-kirstie♥