Why Do I Have To Be Ignored??

12/17/2012

Hi bloopers, I haven't written in a while, and now that I am, I have some sad news to bring to you.

Today, my grade went on a field trip. We were going to a theater to see A Christmas Carol! The last night i was thinking how AWESOME it's going to be cuz everyone has to dress fancy! I was going in a red and sparkly gold dress with a small red sweater and flats. My bff and I made a bet of who will get the most compliments from boys cuz i kept on saying she is a guy magnet (she has 2 guys that are heads over heels with her and a bunch of others who look like they "like" her) and she kept on saying boys really like me. So I was excited of who will compliment me too. I also talked to my teacher and she said we can sit together in the theater! I was SO excited! I love my bff she is amazing funny person to be with. (In a friendly way of course )

So I go to school all dressed up and pretty, as soon as i get to my grade's wing, I see everyone's outfits. All the girls look so grown up and beautiful, then i realize that I dressed like a 5 year old. I was soooo embarrased, and I was asheamed of myself. But I didn't let that bother me, and I went in my classroom. I was just sitting there, only some girls complimented me, no guys. I was fine with that cuz I DID NOT expect guys to like ME! We go to the bus and I'm happy cuz the teacher said that 2 classes will be combined on the bus. The class that i am in and my bff is in. But when i got on she wasn't there, she got moved to another bus! I don't really know the people in my bus that well, so I saw a person sitting alone and joined them. We sat half of the way in silence and the other half talking and playing hand games. It was OK. When we got there, I WAS HAPPIER! I knew that I could see my bff and we could sit together. But I didn't see her. I looked around and walked at the same time. we were soon there at the seats and I HAD to sit next to another person. NOt my bff. I soon saw HER sitting with my ENEMY (yeah she and my enemy are friends I can't stand that it makes me depressed) talking and having fun in the front. I WAS ANGRY NOW. She saw me and waved, I put on my best fake smile and waved back. I thought it was gonna be fun, so far, it was horrible. The person I'm sitting next to is an old friend, so we talked. She said maybe I could go over there during intermission and take the seat next to her of some person that moved somewhere else. I was happy again. then a lady came on stage and said during intermission, we have to stay in our seats and I was angry and sad. I looked at my bff and she was laughing and having fun, whereas I was having the worst time.


So the play starts and it's totally cool and a bit cheesy but whatever, and soon intermission comes. I see my bff walk up past me to go to the bathroom WITH my ENEMY laughing the whole time, and she doesn't even notice me. I feel so so so sad. I had to go to the bathroom too so I went and followed them ( i know a bit stalkerish lol) I went in and saw my bff and I'm like HI!! *wave wave smile smile* she looks right at me and walks into a stall. *thinks* WWTTTTFFFFFF!!!! So all of te stalls are taken so I wait. My bff didn't come out yet so i didn't worry. I went into a stall and I thought I heard my bff laugh and run out... WITHOUT ME!!!! (but she saw me there!) But I didn't know for sure, so I wash my hands and wait for a few seconds when I was sure she left. I went back and surely saw her back in her seats with her"awesome bff" laughing and having the best time ever. She sees me and is like *smile smile wave wave* and this time I TRIED to smile but I found that I could only lift the corners of my mouth just a tiny bit. So she frowns and takes her hands and pushes the corners of her lips up to a smile (telling me to smile) but i just shrug and continue talking to my friend. A couple minutes later I find her, my enemy, and my other best friend up next to my row ( i was kinda at the end of the row) so she's like HI and I'm like hey.. and i talk with my other best friend. they had to go so they went back, i carefully observed them two and saw that they kinda "skipped" down back to their seats like they were so merrily happy leaving me in a dark well of saddness. I Know they didn't mean to do that (well maybe my bff didn't mean to but who knows about my enemy) but i ccan't help feeling left out and ignored. The rest of the play takes place which was AWESOMELY AWESOME and soon we were getting up to go. I try to wait in my row till i get to my bff but then the teacher says i can wait for people outside so i go and soon i see my other group of best friends so I just decided to go with them. I get into the bus and I don't know who to sit with cuz the person i sat with on the way here hasn't came yet so i just sat with another quiet person who was alone and listened to other people conversations. I thought about this situation on the trip back to school. We get back and had a pizza party which i THOUGHT was gonna be fun but it was 2 slices of pizza the size of my hand (which is tiny) a cookie 3 inches wide and some gummy fruit. -_- I finish eating and left my gummies for dessert, i went to go throw my plate out and when i came back someone stole my gummies!!! I said all right who took it!? I looked at a guy and hes like what no. And I suspect it was the guy with 5 GUMMY BAGS but i just decided to let it go. Then it was time for electives, where i hung out with my other friend. I had more fun THERE than i did on the trip. Then it was time to go home so i picked up my bff and we barely talked on the way to our cars. wth is the matter???

I don't know what to do because this happpens to me constantly when I feel left out, but I don't want to tell her she can't be friends with my enemy, she is her own person. My enemy is nice but in the past we had a fight, and it was serious. I don't mind her But I don't like how my bff hangs out with her so much, i mean my bff knew me for like 3 years ( not THAT much but still) and knew my enemy for a few months. My enemy is basically on the SAME LEVEL of friendship that I'm on with my bff!!! It took years for that friendship to grow for us, whereas it took like 1 month for it to grow for them. And then I see her status on this communication app callled ooVoo n it is about how this field trip was awesome, she got many compliments, she must've looked SOOOO pretty. I mean, I (have to admitt it) was honestly soo jealous of her. I don't know what to do. The good thing is... i won the bet. Boys must have piled up at the door to see her, when no one liked me. I have a concert tomorrow, my bff is there, and so is my enemy... will this tragedy repeat itself???