I'm maturing a lot quicker than I thought I was.
I mean last night was unpleasent to say the least, but I got over it, and I feel better now.
And also what I've realized is changes just keep happening all around me, but nothing seems to be changing for me, like I don't have a boyfriend who I've just broken up with, I haven't gotten into any kind of accident, I'm not in the hospital, I haven't been in the hospital...
But there is this one new thing that I've noticed that keeps happening, and its weird because when it happens I think of my cousin Brittany, and how she used to be, and how much she has changed over this past year or two.
And its because I remind myself of her when I do it. Its like there is this voice that just keeps popping up into my head and I have to say what its saying or else I feel constricted, and when I'm like "sleepy" and I'm talking to someone about something important like their feelings about someone or whatever, I will look straight ahead of me, and just talk... and I don't know where its coming from, but it all makes sense, and like I'm saying things that I didn't know I knew. Its just weird. I mean if I told Brittany about it, she would say its god. And I mean I believe in God and that Jesus died for our sins, but I just don't exactly believe what she believes, and that just bugs me, because I know no matter what, unless I believe everything that she believes, she won't love me the way she says that she does. Actually that was a complete lie, I know she will love me no matter what, she would just treat me differently.... And thats what I don't like, when people treat me differently because I don't believe the same thing as them, or I don't do the same thing as them or whatever, but still...
Wow this wasn't supposed to be this long. Lol. |
Loading...