Life goes on.

04/23/2010

Yes, I'm still in love. Very much so. It's kind of scary, but it's starting to become normal. I'm much more relaxed around him now. I'm much less... worried that he's going to freak out and run away. I do believe that he loves me back. We talk about things we're going to do way in the future, and it just feels right that we should be assuming we'll be doing them together. He wonders what our tattoos will look like when we're old and wrinkly, asking if I think I'll be there to laugh at his wrinkly tattoos. I hope so. I really do.

I've still heard nothing about starting hormone therapy. Apparently it can take up to six months. I've started texting with two people from the group therapy, which has been absolutely fantastic for me. I've always had a great deal of support around me, but to have people who actually understand, and are going through the same things is amazing. And we're at exactly the same stage as well, waiting for our letters, it's perfect.

I'm not really too worried about the waiting, because in the meantime I've been learning a lot, healing a lot, coming to terms with... everything. I'm out to the majority of people now, which is fantastic. I'm not out at work yet - I'm actually thinking of going to college after summer though, to study social care. I don't really it's really healthy to put my life on hold. Well, I mena, I'm not allowed to put my life on hold - I have to live as a functioning female before I can get surgery... prove I can survive, pay my own way, have a life!!

I think that's what I've never understood about the shortcut options, the trip to Thailand for a little bit of SRS and you're sorted... No. It HAS to be this way. It has to be slow. It has to progress. It has to become normality. Maybe if this letter really does take a full six months I'll be less understanding, but I know it's the truth.

Oh! I do have a hospital appointment on Monday, though - blood work to find my base hormone level, also talking to someone about electrolysis, and hopefully getting referred to a speech therapist... so it's definitely not all waiting!!