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Beyond Belief
by A RedSox Fan

previous entry: 636 work NBA NHL champs former baseball players died

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637 painful dream and a concert

06/21/2014

637 a painful dream and a concert


I took a nap on Tuesday before work since I woke up too early that morning. It was a nice dream. I wish I remembered more but in other respects, I wish I forgot the entire dream as soon as I woke. .

I recall her and I was at the movies, watching a movie, she was describing things for me and was making her own little comments about the movie. I want to say we were sharing a bag of skittles, since that’s her favorite candy.
The next scene was us in my bedroom, sitting on the edge of my bed, on the side, facing the doorway. I remember she was on my computer, playing monopoly on the gaming site for blind people where it’s just text and sounds. I remember saying “you’re playing that?” she saying “yup, why not? it’s fun.” me: because it’s just sounds” she: “so what? doesn’t bother me”

I remember getting up and walking to the other side of my bed to a dresser with shelves on it. (in my room there is a dresser but only 3 drawers and no shelves) and for some reason, there was some books and other things up there, which was not strange, but what was strange, there was a pack of peanut butter crackers. I guess I was just making sure it was still there because when I touched it, I said to myself “ok, good there it is” and went back to sitting next to her.

I remember she was talking and laughing, oh how I love her laugh, her voice, her smile. When her BF came in and just said “are you ready to go?” and I woke up, and woke up with tears in my eyes.

I think I figured out one reason why this is so difficult, besides that I love her, and that’s because I never got to say good bye, or acknowledgement of my emails or fb messages, or text messages I never got that closure and it feels like she’s dead and I never got to say good bye. I need that closure to move on no matter how much it would hurt.

Thursday night I took my twin brother to see one of our favorite bands. It was the 12 time seeing Everclear and every time it’s awesome.

He puts together this “summer land” tour every year with different bands every year. It’s always rock groups who you don’t get to hear enough on the radio any more.

This year he invited Soul Asylum, who had hits such as “black gold” Want somebody to shove” and MTV driven, “Run away train”. Along with Eve 6 with their one hit “inside out” and spacehogs.

Art, the lead singer of Everclear was awesome… I’m getting ahead of myself, I digress.

Justin and I got to the hall around 7:30, the first band went on at 8 and the place was nearly empty. So we got to get right up close to the stage and the time Everclear went on, I was against the stage.

The bands were pretty good but the crowd is what made it great as the crowd would be singing along to the choruses they knew and for about half of the Everclear songs, and some of the soul asylum songs, sang along to every word.

So Art came out, thanked everyone for coming, Someone said something in the crowd and he said “Don’t fucking start yet, not yet. Ok, anyways” “I want everyone to turn around, turn around, ok, now say hi to the stoners on the second floor there” lol. He introduced the bands, said how Boston is one of his favorite places to play. (and he mentioned it a few times) and said “It doesn’t hurt that my wife is from Boston”.

I was bouncing and swaying and screaming, and singing along…I had a grand time for myself.

Songs I recall.
Heroin girl, Santamonica, everything to everyone, I will buy you a new life, Father of mine, AM radio, Wonderful, and 8 other songs.

It was awesome. He would be talking to the crowd in between songs and telling stories or explaining where songs came from.

It was fun and my throat hurt for well, it still hurts 2 days later lol.

Next Thursday, June 26, I’m going to see Billy Joel at my home away from home, Fenway Park. I’m looking forward to that.

This week reminded a few times how awesome of a friend I am.
Am I suppose to admit that out loud?

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next entry: 638 303 The Disney Dream poem

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Thank you for the welcome!
Wow, 11 years? That's a long time.
I hope I can make some friends on here as well.

[emptyb0x|0 likes] [|reply]

Any idea of what might help you gain closure? I think maybe it'd be good to find that peace of mind!
And yes yes..you definitely are an awesome friend!

[Mrs. Evans|0 likes] [|reply]

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