683 Brian's funeral, Snow fall and the Super Bowl

02/04/2015

683 superbowl, saying bye to cousinBrian and snow falls 2 3 15

SUPERBOWL 49!

I wanted to spend time with both my twin brother and his little family and my sister and her little family. I had asked my brother what he was doing, he said first half at a restaurant we both enjoy and second half at their house. I asked my sister what she was doing and she told me nothing big. Just a few people over and I was welcomed to come over if I wanted. However, with all the snow, it changed my brother’s plans a bit and they were just going to stay home. So my plans would stay the same. I would spend the first half with my twin and second half with my sister.

My dad wanted to get out of the house, he didn’t want to deal with all the pain around the house and I knew it. So when he asked me about going to a casino in RI, although I didn’t really want to go, I happily said sure. So our day was set.

We left about 11:30AM. Got to the casino about 12:30. We played till 3 ish. I only had to good hits. One of $17 and the other of $10. I ended up losing $60 and I didn’t have much fun but pretended I did for my dad’s sake. He didn’t win either but he was out of the house away from reality.

We got to my twin’s about 5P. We sat around a bit. I got to play trains with my nephew for about a half hour or so. He’s so funny, cute and smart. …when he wants to be .

The game…well, you know the game, Patriots won, 28 Seahawks 24. MVP was Tom Brady and he broke some records along the way including most Super Bowl touchdowns in a career. BUT I DIGRESS…
We were down at half time. My dad and I said our goodbyes to my brother, his wife Lindsay and my nephew Devin. I thanked them for letting them invite myself.

We got to my sisters about 5 minutes into the second half. She had two people over. My sister was running a Super Bowl square thing, to help herself raise money in able to pay for her own football fee for her next season. There was some controversy as some people did not pay her so after the 3rd quarter, when the person who had 4-4 text Amanda and say something about when he’ll be able to get his money, my sister told him that he didn’t pay so she sold it to someone else. He said that he sent a check. Sister didn’t get it. Guy said that she should have let him know that she didn’t get it. He didn’t tell her that he was sending a check. So too bad for him.

It was fun. My sister and one of her friends too, both described what was going on when I didn’t know what was going on. When the final play happened, (after the amazing play by the receiver for Seattle) that was it. No one cheered or screamed or anything. They told me how the confetti was in the shape of the trophy. I thought that was pretty cool.
The MVP was Tom Brady. It was his record tying 3rd one. He did get 3 INT’s so not sure if he really deserved it but really, there was no one else who did deserve it. There was no stand-out player.

After they gave the MVP out and interviewed a few people, my father and I left for home.


LET IT SNOW LET IT SNOW LET IT SNOW

After last Tuesday’s blizzard that left us with about 3 feet of snow, mother nature wasn’t done. Monday morning, it started to snow again and didn’t let up till around 8 PM. When the snow stopped, we were left with an additional 17 inches. This set two records for the city of Boston, who got 15+ inches of snow on Feb 2, breaking the old record of 11+ on Feb 2 of 1996. It also broke the record for a single week by 1PM. The unofficial total for Boston over the last week is 47 inches. My town got more than Boston.

There was a lot of shoveling to do and some of the piles on either side of my walkway is my shoulder level. It would be taller but I was able to throw Monday’s snow over last week’s snow. …ok, so my dad helped a bit with going over it with a snow plow the first time and so when I had to go, there was only a few inches.

Saying good bye to Brian

The funeral was scheduled for last Friday. Everything was set up with the funeral home and the notices went out and prep for people to go back to my Temple and whatever else was planned but the Medical examiner held the body for an extra day and wouldn’t release it in time. The funeral was pushed to Monday at 1PM. Perfect timing… just in time for another snow fall.

I was feeling extremely sad, I could still his voice, his sarcastic words. It mad me extra sad but yet smile. I had a hard time falling asleep.

I woke up, had breakfast then got ready to go. I dressed up in a suit-tie with dress shoes. I was going to ride with my Cousin Hayley and her son Leo and my Uncle Joe. My parents were going in another car so they could pick up my Aunty Sarah, Cousin Heidi and her son Jalen. (Brian’s mother, sister and nephew)
I had posted this on my FB before I left for the funeral.

Sometimes we add a plate to the Passover Seder. Today we take away a plate from the Passover Seder. I am sad-pained to say good bye to my cousin Brian today. He was a caring, thoughtful man who made fun of everyone. As I wear a suit-tie today, I can hear him saying "nice suit. Who picked out the NY Yankee tie?" We miss you and love you Brian. RIP

The snow was falling, we were in the middle of the snow storm. I was walking through snow in my dress shoes… oh my feet were c-c-cold. We were going to go to the temple first to drop Leo off with friends of my mom’s. We were a block and a half away when…We got stuck in the snow. It is a few minutes after the noon hour and we had to get to the funeral home at 1PM. We tried to go forward, even burning rubber, literally. We tried to go back, and yes, she has all wheels and we couldn’t get anywhere. Shovelers came to help us out. They shoveled and pushed and shoveled and pushed and still…nothing. Joe and I got out of the car to make the car lighter. After more shoveling, more forward –backward, we finally got out of it. It took about 30 minutes. So now we had 30 minutes to drop off Leo and all his stuff and drive to the funeral home without getting stuck, park and get in within that 30 minutes.
We did it, we were only a few minutes late. We heard the 3 eulogy.

First was an AA friend name Lowis. She talked about how through good and bad times, he was there for her. How he was there for all special occasions with her. It was a nice story.

Next was Brandon, Brian’s younger brother. He had some great stories. He started with “I shared a bedroom with my brother Brian for 20 fucking years”
“He would get us in trouble and we would hear mom’s footsteps and we knew we were in trouble. She went to the kitchen to pick her choice of weapon. A wooden spoon, a spatula or a (didn’t hear what the 3rd thing was) and she would give us a beaten. One time I came up with this great idea. I grabbed one of Brian’s many books, everyone knows I wasn’t so fond of books, and we put the books in the seat of our pants and as we were being wacked, we would pretend it would hurt as we are grinning at each other and even licking our fingers and getting our face wet so it looks like we were crying.
Another time, he had thrown a lamp at me and it broke my nose. I sung and gave him a split lip. So there we were, in the ER, me with my bloody broken nose and him with a bloody busted lip.
Another story, we had bottles lined up on the back wall outback of the house and we took turns shooting at them with his BB gun. Because the bottles were glass, it echoed. We were having a good time for ourselves and then before we knew it, we were surrounded by police and the FBI. I was like, oh shit, you really did it this time Brian. He put his hand in his pocket and the police drew their guns. I was like, what the bleep are you doing? He pulls out the BB gun and I could see the police officer’s faces go from that of seriousness, to that of amusement.
There was many times when, well, Brian knew the train system very well. He would skip school and go into Boston. He would sleep on a park bench, hang out with friends and when he was ready to come home, he would call Dad to pick him up in Boston.
The last time we would joke around, the last time I saw him was at Aunty Laraine’s Chanukah party. (my mom’s) He always joked that he looked younger. I said, ya, but you will turn 48 first. Well, I guess he had the last laugh on that one.
Hmm there was a few other stories, I wish I remembered them all because they were some really great and funny stories. Brian always said he was the chosen one. Brandon said “ya, but I was the miracle child. Our parents weren’t suppose to be able to have children.”
I also know that the way I told them didn’t do it justice to how well she told them. I’m sure I left out many details.
At the end, he thanked everyone for coming out in this weather.
Then was Heidi’s turn to give her eulogy speech. She told a different type of story. It was a different view. She got up and said that there was one story that Brandon forgot, and told some story about Legos and how she would bang on the wall for them to go to sleep. She was sobbing through most of that story so I don’t know the connection.
She then talked about her uncle that lived down stairs for many years. He was close to Brian. If he wanted Brian, he would just knock on the ceiling. Then Brian became the uncle who lived down stairs and Jalen (her son) became Brian. They were best of buds from the beginning. When Jalen was a baby and Brian heard him crying, he would come up stairs, take Jalen from me, lay him against his chest and tell me to go take a shower. That’s the kind of man he was. They had lots in common as Jalen got older.
(I’m going to diverge a bit in the Eulogy here because I think this would tell the view from Jalen… His FB post)

I lost the most important man in my life on January 26th, 2015 and I do not have a lot of them in my life. Although, he had many faults and his greatest enemy was himself and he did this to himself, he was still a big part of my life. We had many things in common which I did not have with many people around me and a lot of people say we look alike which was a good and bad thing in some ways along with having similar characteristics. We both enjoyed marvel and DC comics and the shows that were on T.V related to those organizations. We always had fun together and made fun of each other even when we were told not to. He will be missed by lots of people, but especially me. One of the biggest things I'll be missing is having a person to go see the future type of movies we both enjoy and talking about them and nerding out. Thank you for the amazing and fun times we had. I love you UNCLE and I will miss you. R.I.P UNCLE. Live Long and Prosper.
Jan 29 at 10:42am
Heidi spoke of some of these intertwines that Brian and Jalen shared. It was a bond that went beyond hobbies as their mannerisms were eerily similar.

The Rabbi did his part of the ceremony and then we were ushered to the family room for a moment before heading out. We went shuffled through the snow while getting a snow pie in our face every other minute. We got in our cars and were off to the sematery. There was about 50 people at the funeral home, 40 weathered the weather and came to the cemetery. The Rabbi gave a great and swift service.

Then, a Jewish custom, there is a bucket of fresh dirt and a shovel and individually, we scoop-throw dirt onto the casket and putting the shovel back into the bucket for the next person. It is both painful and yet heeling. It’s the last moment, it is a closure.

Mourners are asked to make two lines for the family to walk between, to show both support and love and comfort as they walk away from the grave..

My sister asked me if I wanted to throw dirt onto the grave and maybe too sharply I said “YES.” When it was my turn, she told me where the bucket was and where the grave was and I reached into the bucket, grabbed the handle, scooped some dirt and threw the dirt onto the grave. I could hear the “plop” of the dirt onto the grave. I put the shovel back into the bucket and my sister led me away…
We then drove to our Temple, our Synagogue where we could spread out a bit, talk to others, family, relax a bit,. We got a few delly platters. It was very nice.

I had overheard someone asking someone else “how is Heidi keeping it together?” and for the most part, she did. I hugged her at the funeral home in the family room. She lost it a bit at that point, crying on my shoulder and again at Temple, thanking me for coming. Both times I didn’t say a word and just let her talk, let her cry as she has said good bye to her oldest brother.

Jalen being Jalen, I was sitting at the temple in the hall way next to my twin and Jalen jumped into my lap and gave me a big hug.

Lastly, on the way out I said goodbye to my aunty Sarah. Again, I didn’t say much, let her talk and just hugged her.

Unfortunately, the snow just continued falling and didn’t stop. On this day, an extra 14-17 inches of snow fell. It made it difficult for transportations, difficult for everyone but we came out for my Cousin Brian.