back to reality

12/20/2010

My parents are coming home tonight from their Florida vacation.
It wasnt as nice as my mom hoped for, as the weather wasnt beach weather but for her, she got to get away. I know my dad didnt want to go for a lot of reasons but he went.

So now it is back to eating on their schedule.
I cant just walk around the house doing as I please.
This morning I was playing monopoly (my favorite game) till 8AM then I talked to my college roommate till he got to work then I went to bed about 9AM to wake at 2pm. what a life, eh?

I did a lot of thinking and a lot of not thinking about my life.
And to be honest, I am scared.
I am scared in so many ways.
I am not as independant as I should be or would like to be and a part of that is living with my parents.
A part of that is not having a full time job and unsure of when I will be able to get one and what I will be able to do.
I got college degrees but right now, they're worth as much as the paper the degrees are printed on.
I may need to seriously think of another career for me but I wouldnt know what I would do.
I first wanted law, even got a degree in criminal justice but that didnt work out.
Now I have 2 degrees in mental health counseling and that stupid driver's license is in my way.
I'm just not sure what I could do.
I wish I could just sit back and publish my poetry. Finish off the play I started over the summer and sell that to a company. Maybe write a fictional book and publish it but I dont know. Is there a real career in that?

I would like to be a profesor but after teaching NAPPI last month, I know I cant public speak as much as I want to. I am best in small groups. I have no problems sitting at a table with 6-8 people and teaching-talking to them but standing up, having nothing in front of me to go by. it's not easy and I agreed to do it again in February. I will do the same sections so I will be a little better and hopefully this time we wont have 20+ people in the class.

BTW, the entry I titled "when your room looks kind of wierd and wished that you werent there"
Is the beginning of the theme song to the Muppet babies. I loved that show when I was a kid.
I am reminded of it here, there was an epasode where Kirmet didnt know what he wanted to be and all the others knew what they wanted to be and they tried to give him ideas but he find reasons why it wouldnt fit him. At the end of the show he figured it out. I just hope I figure it out.